Monday, 27 July 2015

So Edward.... the (unnecessary and unwanted) drama continues...

For an entire month, may I avoid ako. No Edward...  no sleepovers... the occasional text and FB message... but I tried to Maria Clara the Lady Gaga. It was hard... pero as Gloria Gaynor once sang, I will survive...d.

Maleeeh.

Still, I knew I couldn't avoid him for ay-vur. So yes, he came over last Tuesday... and as always, I was in my best Betty Draper outfit. Dinner was lamb with roasted veggies... perfect winter chuvah.

With stilettos and Paloma red lipstick on, I opened the door and there he was. Mr Guwapo with two bottles of red wine. It seemed like a dream come true... kulang na lang fog machine with matching falling rose petals from the heavens.

We had dinner. Light chit-chat. He tried to steer it to heavier topics...

"Well, I have not seen you in a month. Have you been avoiding me?"

... but I decided to keep it light.

"Hija, try the Broooossel sprouts. They're diviiiiiiine."

We ended up watching a rom-com, but I wasn't paying much attention, to be honest. I was cuddling in the sofa, my hand on his belly button, and he was giving me a shoulder rub. Almost picture perfect.

We finished the film and we ended up continuing the "romanz" in bed. During the course of the chuvah, I asked what he was doing while we had not seen each other.

"Me? Oh, I was around... I may have started seeing someone."

Natuliro ako with matching Beyonce whiplash. Haaaanough?

"Yeah, she seems cool."

She? And here we are, cuddling in bed. SHE?!?!?!

So he spent the next few minutes describing how they met, at ako naman in full Oprah realness. Deep down inside, LETCHEH.

After a while, he dozed off and I just slept beside him, listening to him snoring.

The next day, he went off and I spent the day in a bit of haze... as in, I couldn't tell my left from my right. Naloughkah akough. My boss actually asked me to go home kasi I was clearly wiss na wiss!

And truly, I was soooo off. I knew our... whatever our relationship was called... wasn't working but this one was truly... Shetabelles to the enth of ever.

My default reaction: change into gym shorts and workout to death! After two hours of running, skipping rope, weights etchet, etchet... wah pa rin. I was still in a daze and I knew only one thing can help me now.

Wearing my jockstrap underneath my gym clothes, may I punta akish to a local beat. It was usually busy closer to dusk, but winter tends to drive people indoors. Still, it was around mid-afternoon, so I was hoping that someone was there for the happiness.

Bingaycious! May papa.

He was around 5'7", blonde and blue-eyed, very twinkish. He was cherubic, which sadly is not usually my type. I assumed he was in his early 20's pero it was medyo dark so I could not tell for sure. He was in the cubicle, and pretending to pee, except his stance was slightly angled towards the hallway so that he could tell if people were looking at him.

Aaaaaand I was definitely looking.

In fact, I was not even pretending to do chuvah, other than chupah! I faced him, dragged by shorts to my knees so that he can see I'm only wearing a jockstrap and a hard-on!

He turned around, medyo awkwardly, as though he was not too sure what to do with his penoi. 

And there it was - fairly thick around the head, especially given how short it was (around 3 inches). I walked roughly - SASHAY, jhurlz! - and on my knees agad!

I have to admit, it was a strangely shaped notah. The foreskin was very thin and tight, and almost covered the entire head which was noticeably bigger than the shaft. The head itself was red, as though the head was struggling to let loose from the sheath.

The guy himself was shy, parang ayaw nyang ipakita! Buti na lang Ms Congeniality akish! I began going down on him, and after gagging a little bit from the scent of baby powder (ZSAMAVAYAN?!), I began full steam ahead. It was a little bit slippery - more than normal - because somehow I could not get the right fit in my mouth. Parang it was harder to adjust.

After a few minutes, I pushed him to the toilet and I got a condom out. At first he seemed medjas chakot but I convinced him it's ok. He reluctantly pulled down his hipster jeans (medyo nahirapan kami), thrust his hips out so that I can put on the supot on his supot. 

As soon as the penoy was covered, game! I lubed my butt and sat on his member. It was initially hard getting it in, but it slid in eventually (Talagang Miss Talent!!!!) and I began bopping up and down.

So totoo lang, it was weird facing this guy. For one, his face alternated between "holy shit, this feels good" to "OMG I'm going to die" and back again. I wanted a bit more out of it, so I motioned him to suck on my nipples. At first, he used his tongue but after a while he began biting. Tama bang ginawang mansions ang aking voovs???

After a minute, he half-yelled SHIT and gasped for air. At that point, I knew he was spent.

Using some toilet paper, I grabbed the condom as I stood up (seamless, jhurl!) and prepped to go back to the other cubicle. He whispered "Thanks..." but I had a turn around when he followed it up with "Can I get your number?"

I just winked then closed the door.

(To be continued)

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