Monday, 7 December 2015

Wishing well

Sigh.

I wish I had a more exciting update. May Shakira ang lolah niyo with matching love-nat and Ooh-vough Ledesma. Must be that time of year.

Anyway, in case some of you were wondering, Edward and I are talagang over na... as in, ever. Even on FB. The only thing to remember him by are the pics of his penoy that I took while he was tulog. I know, I know... I can't help it. Kazi naman, gintong ari award sya 2015, 2016 till EVER. Sometimes I even look at those pics at work, and once (yes, ganito akong kalukerz) left the pic as my phone wallpaper pero I thought if my clients saw it, tigbakacious ang gaga, so I changed it after a day.

Tempted to post those pics one day, but for now, sa akin na lang sya. I can pretend he was mine all this time. *sigh*

Dating terms... wis. The closest is Craig, a BEAUTIFUL Greek guy who is super hairy all over (which I like) and has super hard and super sensitive nipples~! He's 51 years old, around 6'1, works as a construction contractor, and toned body - not built like a tank, but toned enough to confidently walk around without a shirt on. He looks like a Mediterranean Pierce Brosnan... Chalukers!

Problem? He's absolutely horrible in bed! For one, hindi super big ang notary public niya. It's decent enough, but ... darling, hardly challenging. He doesn't even have foreskin so parang boring sya. I mean, he seems not too enthusiastic about sex, and tuloy, hindi sya give na give in the act.  I can see that he's an acquired taste. After a few dates, I can see a lot of the Grindrs saying "Thanks but no thanks". The first impression is fantastic but everything REALLY goes downhill from there.

Anyway, I better stop na. This is starting to just depress me. Back to looking at Edward's patolalala.

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

The Farmer's Boy

I'm in love... the 5-minute kind, of course~!

We've all seen the Bel Ami boys in their farm gear. Chiseled and denim-clad, these Euro hunks can give my sphincter a run for its money. (Yes, that does not make sense.) I think a Bel Ami boy is the only time I would ever consider an outdoor romp in the hay - otherwise, too itchy.

Howayvur, last Sunday was ... interesting. I was in the usual beat, may I pretend ang lola niyo in the urinals, when in comes this HANDSOME boy, around mid-twenties, tanned until EH-VUR and trim as a top (a power top, that is - AHAHAY!!!!).

Anyway, because I was already there, I chose the area that has the most amount of coverage, and that meant I could hide my hard penoy, just in case a guy was there for the deed. This guy, however, was different. He had sharp eyebrows and angular jaw. He was sexy and intriguing, although not necessarily handsome. He was around 5'10" but the way he carried himself was just... different. He looked taller tuloy... I think silent confidence is a good word for it.

Anyway, he stood quite a distance from me, his tattered Country Road bag placed behind him, away from the urinal backsplash. He was wearing old green/grey shorts (which in hindsight may have been blue at one point in time), and worker boots commonly found among tradesmen. He had fairly dark legs, and you can tell he had his time in the sun.

After a while, it was obvious neither of us were there for the urinal, and we both angled our bodies, almost facing each other, at the same time. He had a really tough foreskin, talagang gamit na gamit, and his penoy was wonderfully pale in comparison to the dark pubic jungle that was untrimmed, unkept and ... well, it was so masculine...! Just! Amazing!

He looked at me with brown squinted eyes, and I knew he was game. He looked around and, seeing that we were the only ones there, moved closer, his left leg kicking the bag closer to where I stood.

Wow.

Let me explain something. I am not hot. I am quite far from hot. I am so far from hot that I would need binoculars to see hot from where I am. I am closer to beached whale than hot.

So for someone of Bel Ami calibre to come closer to me with his hardening penoy... well, it doesn't happen often... if at all, really!!

Anyway, he stood beside me and showed me his package. My God, the more I look at it, the more drunk I became at the sight of it. He had massive balls and they were a significant shade darker than his penoy. As for the penoy itself, I thought it was around 5 inches but when I reached out and touched it, FOUGHCHANGINASHABELLES! It grew into a 8 incher and yes, ladies and ladies, it was a fucking beer can. With the foreskin and the size of it, I was in heaven!

Siyempre nalowkah akish!!!!

With excited eyes, I smiled at the guy and motioned to the cubicle behind us. He smirked a "sige na nga" and moved towards the booth. I was so excited that I grabbed his bag for him and ran into the cubicle, my other hand struggling to hold my pants up.

He walked behind me, cool and casual - tanginish, talagang Bel Ami ang arrive ng lokah- and smiled as I held the door open for him. He walked in and locked the door behind him. I knelt quickly, not caring what the heck I was kneeling on (seriously, it was a filthy toilet), when he pulled his hard member away.

HANOUGH?!?!

He explained that he didn't want to get sucked (paksiyet) and was only interested in getting a handy... Ako naman, HA?!? Bitin! I asked if he was willing to get his duck eggs sucked and, after a few seconds of deliberations, agreed to it.

Ok, ladies. I have to say: his was the second biggest balls I have ever tried to put in my mouth... EVER. It was massive and hairless and ... basta! PERFECT! I looked up at him while I did my bit and he looked down and smiled with his pearly white teeth (rare here in Sydney, trust me). He grabbed his hard penoy, and hit me playfully against the cheek a few times. He only stopped when I opened my mouth and motioned for the guy to put it in.

"Uh-uh. Nope."

Well, you can't blame a ghurl for trying.

Anyway, I continued to play with the yagbols, and kneeding his legs and cheeks at the same time. My goodness I was in heaven.

After a bit, he said he was about to blow and he didn't want me there when it happened. I stood and went beside him to finish him off pero he turned around, lifted my shirt and sucked on my nipps. This was a bit of a surprise actually, and he actually slightly ripped my shirts buttons in the process (but it was an old shirt anyway and this was DEFINITELY worth the price of admission).

He continued his action on one and then started on the other, but before too long, he said that he was ready to go, and he turned to the bowl for release. I grabbed his penoy and finished the job in 3 seconds flat, and now I see why he wanted me out of the way. He sprayed EVERYWHERE. As in, we were standing in front of the bowl but 90% of his juice went either onto my hand or everywhere else EXCEPT the bowl. He didn't say much but there was a pained expression on his face.

He later admitted that he had spent the entire week in his dad's farm and hadn't done much jacking off since. I asked for his number as he started to fix himself for exit but he just smiled at me and kissed me on the lips before leaving.

After he left, i licked the small gob of his juice still lingering on my wrist. It was sweet as ripe corn.

Thursday, 1 October 2015

Tradies ... LAVVIT!

Men in Sydney come in all shapes and sizes - but I tend to ogle more if they were tradesmen. There is something about karpinteros and painters and truck drivers that make them more ... manly? It's the fluoro vest, maybe, or the musky scent of sweat, I think.

The most recent guy I had was round as a ball, with a penoy 3 inches in length. I actually wanted to suck him off pero dahil sobra syang Jiggly Caliente na talagang SORRY darling - his tummy just kept on hitting my cheeks (Magagalit si Tita Vicky Belo kung masisira ang botox!). Hand job na lang. He seemed nice about it naman at dahil ok naman ang kanyang fez value, sige, game akish. I don't think I would have done if he had been wearing "normal clothes" - it's the rough tradesman shirt and the unkept shorts that did it for me.

I also met this a short, black guy who was wearing those white overalls, and had paint splattered about him. He was around 5'8' and he had lovely braided hair that was held up by a rubber band and his painter's safety glasses. He was cute naman - I actually couldn't tell how old he is, kasi his skin was just beauteous! I think he was mid-40's but he could honestly pass for 20's. He was in the urinals and I just stood next to him. We both looked at each other (alam mo na... the Taylor Swift side glance) and next thing you know, he was letting me touch him. He didn't want any oral action (sayang!) but hey, better than nothing, di ba?

The nice thing about this guy is that he smelled of vanilla and sweat. It's a very intoxicating mix, and to be honest, I'm all for the muskiness of it. I stood beside him and slowly took his member in my hand. It was thin, and his foreskin was super thin to the point na I wasn't too sure it was there (but it was). I walked behind him, and one hand played with his penoy very very slowly while the other explored his body. He was very trim - almost like a swimmer's body without the broad shoulders - and he didn't have that much fat on him. His chest had a hint of muscle that was matted with coarse chest hair. His nipples were very small but he liked it when I played with it. He leant his head back while I did my thing.

To be honest, I don't mind doing most of the work - I find that a lot of closet cases are like that. My only requirement is the joy of the male seed. Wala lang - I like the notion of being in control of someone's explosion.

And this guy definitely exploded. The first shot came pretty fast, and rather than being liquid, the first two spurts came almost in solid chunks - parang lugaw! I was super tempted to lick it, but he seemed adamant na out of bounds ang kanyang mga juices. Ako naman - sayang ang ginto! He had a total of 6 bursts, each one slightly less intense than the previous one.

Even before he buttoned up, he led me to the faucet and washed my hands cleanish. I felt a bit weird about it, but just in case he had his reasons for this, I left him to do whatever. He let me play with his penoy for a few more seconds, and he buckled up and went off.

Lugaw... sayang...

Thursday, 17 September 2015

Maori Fever

I like ... men. And I mean, muscles... I don't mind twinkies, but I most certainly prefer bulldogs to chihuahuas. Sa akin, secondary ang laki ng ari. All sizes are fine by me (very accommodating tayo, friends!).

Now, the story for today... I happened to cancel a meeting with a client (my fault - I wasn't able to finish my homework), and dahil sensitive ang ulo ng lolah nyo, I called in sick, saying that I had a headache.

I walked home, hoping the fresh air would help clear my head. However, as I walked close to one of my fave beats, I couldn't resist. I ducked inside and crossed my fingers.

YAHEZ! There were three closed cubicles - meaning there were three potentials. I took the fourth cubicle, which meant that all of us were within eyeing distance. I locked my door but kept standing para naman they knew I was game for game.

Within seconds, heads popped up, one by one. The one across me was an older gent, around 60. He was... well, ho-hum. The way he smiled just turned me off kazi naman para syang Emperor Palpatine.

The other guy beside him opened his door and I had a peek. He was around 50 years old, kinda short, but he had a lovely dark complexion. I couldn't see him clearly so I decided to open my door as well to see more.

As I stepped out, to my right, a young Asian guy was standing, mukhang super hayok. I somehow thought that was a turn off as well. Di ko alam kung bakit... Para bang if you want it too much, it becomes ... ewan ko nga ba... I mean cute sya, ha, pero di ko feel.

Anyway, I stepped out into the light, penoy in hand. The other guy did too, and I finally saw the offering. He had olive-ish skin, and he was quite stocky, clearly some sort of Pacific Islander. He had a rugby outfit on, and his penny was peeking through his shorts. His was uncut, short - around 3 inches but decently thick, ha!

I liked what I saw and given that the other two didn't tickle me talaga, I walked to his cubicle and he locked the door behind me.

He looked at me, smiled and kissed me. Ako naman, "Ay brumantic! Sige na nga!" We played tongue hockey for a bit while our hands went elsewhere. He pulled out of the kiss, and pulled the bottom of his shirt above his head while I yanked his shorts to his knees. That gave me a very clear view of his body - and I have to admit: I like!

He was clearly a gym rat at one point in his life but he has let himself go a bit - his chest was massive, only to be outdone by his beer belly. (Ako naman, very forgiving sa mga ganyan - after all, friends, we are getting there.) I loved his Maori tattoo that swirled around his nipples and onto his shoulder. He was... I dunno the right word: siksik? He clearly had muscles but the fat was also there. Chunky is a nice word for it as well. Anyway, it was truly hot!

I began to massage his chest, tapos I kissed and bit and licked his nipples. There is something so hypnotic about dark protruding nipples! With the tattoo pa, it was really magical! I went Lady Gaga on those things, and I just loved it! I did everything from twirling to biting, from tip action to full cat tongue. The entire time, his eyes were rolled back in pleasure.

While this was happening, my hands were preparing his member for action. Now, the issue I have with his is that it was really nicely thick ... pero talagang three inches lang! Lovely foreskin pero jacking him off was truly a challenge. Weird kasi na super taba pero medyo liit siya.

I decided to start the deed, and sank to my knees. That was when he really got into it. He groaned a "yeah!" and slightly tilted his hips forward. I looked closely at his and I have to admit: It was strange having my mouth open that wide - hindi sanay! - but it was not an impossible dream naman. In a way, I liked it actually kasi it's something new.

Obvious na his penoi has truly been active for a while now. Kitang-kita sa foreskin eh! Super loose and for me, it was cute! Something else for me to play with while making chupagelious. He clearly loved it because he had one hand on my head and the other on the top of the cubicle wall. I was pumping away while both my hands were moving around from his fairly meaty ass cheeks to his nipples and back.

I loved it. The feeling of his penny in my mouth was just hamayching! It was like blowing on a stubby beer can!

Clearly, he liked it because within a couple of minutes, he started gasping for air, and as he spread his legs apart, I began massaging his hole with my middle finger as my mouth pumped up and down. As he exploded in my mouth, he sat down gently on my stiff finger and I wiggled inside him (he was quite... loose) one finger first, then another, as he came in my mouth again and again... and again.

After half a minute, he slowly stood up, his eyes still closed, his hairless, tree trunk legs quivering. I pulled out my fingers (very clean!) and my mouth was quite full of his seed. I had to spit quite a bit into the bowl (no, seriously, it was a deluge!) and I took some sheets of disposable wipes to clean my mouth (you know me, girl scout of the year - laging hada, i mean, handa).

He quickly buckled his shorts and unlocked the door.  He jumped into another empty cubicle, and based on the sound effects, he was cleaning himself as much as he can. I wanted to offer my wipes, but as I lingered outside the cubicle, he shot me a look above the door that said "Fuck off".

Fearing that he could use his eyelashes to beat the living pechay out of me, I decided to walk away. I didn't need to nut naman to enjoy. That was enough for me.

Thursday, 6 August 2015

So Edward... (part two)

This is really a continuation of the previous story, kazi that afternoon was... amazing in its own way.

After the last guy, I went back to the other cubicle and waited. It was a good romp, but bagets really did nothing for me. Gusto kong sabihin: "Yun lang?" but let's be gracious, ladies.

I closed the door and cleaned myself. Buti na lang I have 1 billion wet wipes. I took out my iPad and played movies from the net while waiting. I have one million gig of data naman from Vodafone so I could afford (when it worked, that is) to watch watchayvur.

After 20 minutes or so, I heard the door open and close, and the cubicle door in front of me locked into place. At this point, I wasn't too sure kung puliz (and yes, that has happened in the past) or fafa. Buti na lang, in this case, fafa!

He was around mid-50's, and he had a bit of a pouch on him - given the firmness, it's definitely a beer belly. But he was dressed really well, 6 foot tall so his weight wasn't obvious naman. He had a full blown beard, and from his neckline, he was obviously balbon. He obviously goes to the gym but doesn't engage in full-on lifting.

Pero jhurls: Ang fez value: Winnar! Super guwapo - very kind eyes and his smile was enough to make me drop / wet my pants.

But I digress.

ANYway, I made a show of standing up and tilting my body, para naman kita the Melanie Marquez long leggedness. Buti naman he was game too! In a few seconds, he rushed into my cubicle, hands on my cheeks! 

Avaugh! Demanding ang fough-tah!

As he undid his belt, I knelt and waited for the milagro - and grow it did. It was nice 6 incher, makapal pero kaya sa laban naman. Sadly, it was cut, but hey, hindi naman ako bigot - love for all shapes and sizes, sabi ng Ms Universe contestant... 

(Charot!)

Anyway, I began sucking him off, and he made sabunot the hair. Buti na lang buhok rejoice, or else! He was a bit on the rough side, but hey, I could take it naman so I just went with the flow. Slowly but surely, his penoy became rock hard and I did not complain.

I looked up at this point, and saw that he had unbuttoned his business shirt - my gulay! Burt Reynolds ang chest niya! Eyelurvit!

I angled myself so that I can play with his chest and nipples, and continue with my oral delivery. He opened his mouth and moaned lowly. Shet. Turn on! I began pumping even faster and he rolled his eyes back.

At this point, I was ready to rock and roll. I took out the condom and put it on his throbbing member. He was a little bit surprised about this, but he seemed good to go.

I leaned forward and after lubing up, he slowly put it inside me. He was significantly bigger than the last guy, so it was a little bit painful but after a while, I got used to it naman.

He grabbed me by the hips and began pumping me - hard. As in, nauntog akish! Graveh!!! I am used to rougher guys but he was just... rough. He did it really fast, as though he was trying to drill for my tonsils. I had to grip the walls so that I don't fall over. Several times, he slapped my ass so hard, it felt closer to a punch.

After a few minutes, I had to stand up a bit and say "Hold on - wait." And he did slow down to a crawl and then I noticed his rock hard cock quickly limp into softness. It was so weird. I think he needs to give it rough to stay hard, and to be honest, thanks but no thanks.

I stood up and said "I had to go" and he unfurled the supot covered by tissue. I got it from him and noticed that there was white stuff in it.

I looked at him, puzzled really.

He shrugged and said "I came maybe a minute or so before you told me to stop... I just figured you were having too much fun."

I stared at him, shocked that he didn't miss his cadence in the act. 

Of course, I asked for his number.

Monday, 27 July 2015

So Edward.... the (unnecessary and unwanted) drama continues...

For an entire month, may I avoid ako. No Edward...  no sleepovers... the occasional text and FB message... but I tried to Maria Clara the Lady Gaga. It was hard... pero as Gloria Gaynor once sang, I will survive...d.

Maleeeh.

Still, I knew I couldn't avoid him for ay-vur. So yes, he came over last Tuesday... and as always, I was in my best Betty Draper outfit. Dinner was lamb with roasted veggies... perfect winter chuvah.

With stilettos and Paloma red lipstick on, I opened the door and there he was. Mr Guwapo with two bottles of red wine. It seemed like a dream come true... kulang na lang fog machine with matching falling rose petals from the heavens.

We had dinner. Light chit-chat. He tried to steer it to heavier topics...

"Well, I have not seen you in a month. Have you been avoiding me?"

... but I decided to keep it light.

"Hija, try the Broooossel sprouts. They're diviiiiiiine."

We ended up watching a rom-com, but I wasn't paying much attention, to be honest. I was cuddling in the sofa, my hand on his belly button, and he was giving me a shoulder rub. Almost picture perfect.

We finished the film and we ended up continuing the "romanz" in bed. During the course of the chuvah, I asked what he was doing while we had not seen each other.

"Me? Oh, I was around... I may have started seeing someone."

Natuliro ako with matching Beyonce whiplash. Haaaanough?

"Yeah, she seems cool."

She? And here we are, cuddling in bed. SHE?!?!?!

So he spent the next few minutes describing how they met, at ako naman in full Oprah realness. Deep down inside, LETCHEH.

After a while, he dozed off and I just slept beside him, listening to him snoring.

The next day, he went off and I spent the day in a bit of haze... as in, I couldn't tell my left from my right. Naloughkah akough. My boss actually asked me to go home kasi I was clearly wiss na wiss!

And truly, I was soooo off. I knew our... whatever our relationship was called... wasn't working but this one was truly... Shetabelles to the enth of ever.

My default reaction: change into gym shorts and workout to death! After two hours of running, skipping rope, weights etchet, etchet... wah pa rin. I was still in a daze and I knew only one thing can help me now.

Wearing my jockstrap underneath my gym clothes, may I punta akish to a local beat. It was usually busy closer to dusk, but winter tends to drive people indoors. Still, it was around mid-afternoon, so I was hoping that someone was there for the happiness.

Bingaycious! May papa.

He was around 5'7", blonde and blue-eyed, very twinkish. He was cherubic, which sadly is not usually my type. I assumed he was in his early 20's pero it was medyo dark so I could not tell for sure. He was in the cubicle, and pretending to pee, except his stance was slightly angled towards the hallway so that he could tell if people were looking at him.

Aaaaaand I was definitely looking.

In fact, I was not even pretending to do chuvah, other than chupah! I faced him, dragged by shorts to my knees so that he can see I'm only wearing a jockstrap and a hard-on!

He turned around, medyo awkwardly, as though he was not too sure what to do with his penoi. 

And there it was - fairly thick around the head, especially given how short it was (around 3 inches). I walked roughly - SASHAY, jhurlz! - and on my knees agad!

I have to admit, it was a strangely shaped notah. The foreskin was very thin and tight, and almost covered the entire head which was noticeably bigger than the shaft. The head itself was red, as though the head was struggling to let loose from the sheath.

The guy himself was shy, parang ayaw nyang ipakita! Buti na lang Ms Congeniality akish! I began going down on him, and after gagging a little bit from the scent of baby powder (ZSAMAVAYAN?!), I began full steam ahead. It was a little bit slippery - more than normal - because somehow I could not get the right fit in my mouth. Parang it was harder to adjust.

After a few minutes, I pushed him to the toilet and I got a condom out. At first he seemed medjas chakot but I convinced him it's ok. He reluctantly pulled down his hipster jeans (medyo nahirapan kami), thrust his hips out so that I can put on the supot on his supot. 

As soon as the penoy was covered, game! I lubed my butt and sat on his member. It was initially hard getting it in, but it slid in eventually (Talagang Miss Talent!!!!) and I began bopping up and down.

So totoo lang, it was weird facing this guy. For one, his face alternated between "holy shit, this feels good" to "OMG I'm going to die" and back again. I wanted a bit more out of it, so I motioned him to suck on my nipples. At first, he used his tongue but after a while he began biting. Tama bang ginawang mansions ang aking voovs???

After a minute, he half-yelled SHIT and gasped for air. At that point, I knew he was spent.

Using some toilet paper, I grabbed the condom as I stood up (seamless, jhurl!) and prepped to go back to the other cubicle. He whispered "Thanks..." but I had a turn around when he followed it up with "Can I get your number?"

I just winked then closed the door.

(To be continued)

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Post Heaven Highs and Lows

This is a very strange entry. I feel... sad. bad. naughty. evil.

Ewan ko nga ba.

This song fits my mood, so I'm putting a link here.

Edward came over again. We watched Jurassic World muna, then home to drink beer, played Twister (horridly - kasi naman in Bryce Dallas Howard heels!!!), and well, we played around. When I said played around, I meant we cuddled in bed as always while he was in his rocket ship PJs (no joke!) and I was in my Victoria's Secret lingerie (possibly a joke).

ANYway, as always, we had a few drinks and he became more ... affectionate? He kissed me on the forehead (FOREHEAD LANG?!? TAMA BA YAN?!?!) and said he loved spending time with me.
Did he say he loved me? Moochang hindeh.

I assumed this moment of "love" was because of the drink... but this time, we definitely went overboard... as in, by 2:30AM, he and I were... well, close to passing out. Still hindi ko alam why I can drink him under the table... maybe it's because I'm always hayouk (GANOUN!) despite my demure Maria Clara facade (talahgang!).

So. Fast forward to 3 AM. He was senglot to the ever. I was hayoque in need to dilig.

So ayun. Stupid hat on. Tangal his PJs and down, I went. At first, it was thin and small, around 3 inches. Pero within a minute of working it, it definitely grew... and oh, my. His penoy was beautimous. Kapal the foreskin, and while the head was small, the base was super thick, and it was around 7 inches and it was only hard-ish at this point. Because he trimmed his pubes, maganda the effect. Truly gorgeous.

Throughout the entire experience, he was out for the count, and my better judgement flew out the window. I stopped sucking his cock, and lubed my middle finger with my mouth. As soon as I thought it was wet enough, I spread his legs and continued sucking him off while my middle finger slowly went down his hole.

It went in smooth and easy.

As I continued going down on him, I kept looking up at him, expecting him to wake up. Still, he kept on lightly snoring, and somehow I thought it was a sign. (wtf???)

As my finger did the deed, I noticed that his hardness went down a bit, and so I stopped. As soon as my finger slid out, a sober voice popped in my head: “This isn’t right.”

And it wasn’t.

I stopped sucking him off, and pulled up his PJs. In a few seconds, he actually stirred, and grabbed his softening dick. He looked at me briefly with a confused, angry look but went back to sleep almost immediately.

I slept beside him, but no sooner did I close my eyes, when my alarm rang. 6:30AM na? Ha? I got up, prepped breakfast and by the time coffee arrived, Edward slumbered out of the bedroom. He smiled weakly: “Good morning” and sat down.

I won’t bore you with the details, but in summary, I don’t think he was aware of what happened. This was a couple of days ago, and we haven’t SMSed since. He sent me an email, pero I sent back a short and polite reply. No FB messages yet, and I think it’s best this way.

Please don’t rip me to shreds for this. I already feel awful. My better judgement passed out with the amount of alcohol and that just isn’t cool.

Ito na ang kumpisal ko. 


Edward, exit left. For both our sakes.

Thursday, 18 June 2015

Kalukring!

So. Edward stayed overnight. Again.

The entire day, we were talking about classic porn we watched as kids. My favourite was The Devil in Miss Jones while his was Deep Throat (Please don't judge - walang Sean Cody in the 80's... ESTE, early 90's pala)(cough).

(Side note: does anyone remember the fashion catalogue International Male? Oh, the memories!!!)

Of course, you can only imagine what the conversation was like - Thank goodness FB does not censor PMs.

We had dinner (as part of the Ms Talent portion, I cooked a four course meal in matching Betty Draper outfit). We had wine, three bottles in total (talajang all out, ghurls!) and we ended up cuddling in bed.

Now at this point, you'd think na we'd be at it like bunnies.

Nope.

We cuddled but that's it. He placed his hand na on the lower part of my back and I had my hand on his tummy (omg, talagang super hard at halos zero fat - Core strength galore!). I was wide awake and heart thumping, so obviously ready na akish for the grand finale.

To start, I was massaging his knees and as the human body is limited in its angles, my elbow ended up on his junior. Sigh. From my expert opinion, it was clear that he was not finding the cuddling experience... arousing.

After a few minutes, I looked up pero he was out for the count.

 I kissed him on the lips and went to sleep.

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Eurovision Weekend

Edward: The Saga/Drama Continues

So Edward decided to drop by for Eurovision - normally, I would have a couple of friends watch the show with me, especially now that Australia joined for the first (and last) time. However, I wanted some quiet time with Edward, so my friends watched elsewhere while I readied myself for a Saturday night cuddle.

He liked the first few acts, but he wanted to watch AFL instead. Cha-ineez! Pinagbigyan ko ang low-kah, but with the rule na he has to wake up with me for the 5AM live show. He said yes, so sige. So we watched GayFL and it was... nice. There was a lot of beer involved, and we had a game with tequila shots - by 11PM, we were ready to hit the sack.

We cuddled in bed - and dahil malamig, HE WORE JEANS TO BED. Gusto ko siyang sigawan: baka magmancha!!! Pero buti na lang hinjie.

I think the frustration comes from the fact na I can see what he has to offer but no go, talaga. As a joke, I cupped his balls, and he didn't stop me from playing with them, so yun! I got to play with his yagballs through the jeans.

But when I ventured upwards, ayan! He stiffened up (in the wrong way) and stood up. I stopped, coughed a bit, aaaaand things just became awkward.

Part of me thinks he wanted to cuddle and be romantic and all of that shit, but he doesn't want the sex.

Poooonyeeeeehtaaaaaah.

We both ended up in bed, with my hand on his shallow bellybutton, and when I woke up the next day, he was already rugged up in the sofa, waiting for me to join him in Eurovision watching.

Sunday morning passed, he left after breakfast, and before I knew it, BOOM. Monday.

I tried to shake off the entire weekend, pero I just couldn't. I ended up going to a beat and getting it on with this strawberry blonde guy who was... well, not so nice to look at, but he had a stiff dick that was raring for action. He was around 5'11, and around early 30's. His body had zero muscles with all the baby fat in the wrong places. In all honesty, it really was cringe-worthy.

BUT on the good side, he had LOVELY pubes, and his cut cock was around 6 inches with a decent girth. GAME ON, JHURLS!

He plowed me in the cubicles and I just had to pretend that Edward was doing me. The awesome part about this was that he was showering me with compliments about how handsome I was and how he was so turned on about me.

Blush!

I think what made it more painful was that strawberry blonde was asking for my name and number para Part 2, but I was like, sorry darling. One off lang.

*Sigh* Until next time...

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Autumn Bluez

I got two anon replies in the last post, pero one disappeared. However, I have decided to reply to it anyway... After all, I need practice for my Question and Answer portion sa Mizz Univerze.

"Is it safe to swallow? Bareback?"

Hellerrr. The answer is always no. FYI: You can get seroconverted via BJs (implausible, but possible) as well as hadashi, so in all honestly, mas Winona pag may chondom. However, medyo rebelde ang lolah niyo. Am I being stupid? Yes.

Autumn is always a strange time in Sydney. Sun is out and about... but the beats are strangely erratic. I dropped by the usual places at the usual times, and well, it's been quiet to say the least. Hindi mabenta ang aking Pata Tim! Atchuweteh ang lolah niyo!

Anyway, I was sent to Tasmania for work, and sadly, no ackshown... In fairness, super cold mga badich, so not surprised that people are just using Grindr and waiting for the graces to fall on their laps. I nearly had hookups there, pero at the end of the day, I just ended up with Mariong Palad - not that I mind. Besides, my horrendously heavy laptop is filled with enough legally downloaded porn to host a virtual library!

When I got back, I started the dating scene again. I don't know why. I started my dating with an easy one - a 6'2 Chinese guy, cute. Super bata, as in early 20's, pero he was into older guys daw so sige, despite the 6-year gap (TALAGANG ILUSYONADA! Kalowkerz!), I decided why not, chocnut?

Well, that fizzled really, really fast. Ang kerning gintong ari, medyo short pero my gulay super thick - parang beer can! So medyo weird ang feeling. I think to make it worse, he wanted me to take charge of everything in the relationship, and the power dynamic is... well, I just didn't like it. I prefer to be with an equal as opposed to someone I need to take care of. Maybe it's just lack of chemistry. Maybe I just don't like teaching a kid how to have sekz. Ewan ko nga ba.

And then there is Edward. Now Edward is... cute. Super gym body, surfer, professed bi-sexual pero he is not into sex daw, at least not just yet. He's very romantic in texts and messages, pero once we sit down and talk - parang wala siyang feelings. I think naman he's honest pero there's something about him that is stopping him from actually diving into the world that is Badinggerzie (GAH-KNOWN!).

Last night, he slept over pero he made it clear: No sex. Kainizzzz! Ako naman, sige. So we cuddled in bed and watched movies on my laptop na que-bigat! We ended up talking about shaving down there, and I went as far as me feeling the base of his peon. So yes, I actually saw it. Makapal ang foreskin niya, and it looks formidable! Around 3 inches pero super not hard, so my expert opinion, maybe 7 inches kapag galit! Wait and see... to be honest, I don't think he will ever join the rainbow parade. Testing the waters siya, and despite my best efforts, wis na wis.

His last words before falling asleep: "I love you, man."

MAN??? Juhrl ako noh?!

Letcheh.

Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Keeping it cool

I can't believe that my last entry was June 2014! Nakuhledezmah!

There is no one reason for this, to be honest. Work has been hectic. Promotion. Left job. Rehired. More work. I don't do client visits as much na, but that will change within the next few months... again.

On the relationship side, still shin-gal. Kalowkah. Had several potentials, pero most ended before things could become more interesting. Am I ok about it? I ... don't know, to be honest. I will make knew next time when my spirit is a bit more willing. Sometimes, I feel weird writing stuff here. Part confessional box, part catharsis, part catheter (hehehe).

As some of you would already know, I love tradies. For those outside Oz, tradies are basically tradesmen, like electricians, plumbers, carpenters, etc. etc. I like them a bit rough around the edges eh.

I went to one of my fave haunts, and I can tell that things were already happening. As soon as I entered, the three cubicle doors in the far end suddenly closed.

Well, well, well...

Anyway, I walked to the cubicle that wasn't occupied and pretend to number 1. Avatch! Within 30 seconds, the guy on the other side popped his head out and opened his door.

This guy was around mid-30's, cute-abelles, 5'7", puti, and looked quite stocky, especially given his short frame. He was an air-con technician, which I could tell kasi he was wearing his company shirt. He also had his work pants plus steel-tipped shoes, so alam na alam mong he's the real deal.

Anyway, I opened my door wider, and he did the same. As far as I am concerned, that's an invite so may I run ako... And I have to say...

I was a bit disappointed. His penoy was cut (sayang), around 4 in and SUPER thin... as in, pencil thin. As in, parang Mongol pencil thin.

On the good side, gwapo lang locha! Light brown hair with matching valvasarado... As in, yaminess! At this point, libog-abelles na akish, so siyempre game!

I went down on my knees and sharpened his hard mongol pencil. Of course, it was super easy - no gag reflex and with matching Walk like an Egyptian (points to those who can get the reference)!

The good about this guy was that he was really into it. After a minute, he took off his shirt and started tweaking his nipples. Ako naman, sure, I can help! Alam mo naman tayong mga Filipina jurls, multitalented and very hospitable! As I was pounding my head, my hands were all over him, nipolz, yagballs, etc. etc.

Anyway, after a couple of minutes, he pushed me to my feet and pounded his face on my penoi. I have to say though: Hindi sya magaling. Kahit runner-up for Ms Talent, hindeh. I didn't know how bad bad could be but that. was. bad.

At that point, I lost my patience. I pushed him up, placed a supot on his peon, and sat on it. Obviously, super easy for me and within seconds, I was pounding on him as he sat on the throne. At this point, he and I were making so much noise that the two other guys we looking over the partitions and clearly enjoying themselves in the process.

Shortie then carefully stood up, pushing me forward while still inside me. It was massively awkward kasi pandakacious siya, pero sige, fight lang tayo! I had to crouch down a bit more, increasing the pressure on my legs. Buti na lang sanay sa stilettos kaya calf muscles of Tyra ang laban!

Within a few minutes of rapid pounding, he began to moan and boom. He had done the deed and spread the seed. Ako? I was still crosswording on my iPhone.

JOKE.

I pulled the filled supot from his still rock hard member, and wrapped it in toilet paper. I fixed myself as our audience members slowly tucked away back into their cubicles. I opened the door, belt unbuckled and supot in hand. As I was washing my hands and fixing myself, I was thinking to myself: Tangina, ang guwapo niya talaga...

I really did want to do the crossword instead though.