Sunday, 29 March 2009

Nakish! Buching!!!

Funny ang title, noh? Anyway, prior to this afternoon, I was at the peak of happiness, pero na-karma-karma-karma-karma-karma-chameleon! Letch!

... but before the chismax, bati muna!

1. Turis: Chub chaser ka pala! Nothing wrong with that, of course... ako pa! Para akong 7-11, always open (minded, ha!).

2. Joa: TRUE! Medyo strange dahil usually, kapag fatsy, medyo maliit. I think that's one of the appeals with this guy. Fatso all over, kaya win!

3. Anon: Naku, sis. Super shock itong entry till ever! Read on!

4. Rik: Mega blush on naman akish! Chenkyu sa mga kind words, pero sis, at the end of the day, puta lang ako (GHANON!)

Anyway, ito na ang update. This morning, as I was walking towards the office building, I noticed a strange number of younguns, loitering out, being the usual pests that they are. Of course, given the laws of probability, half of them were men and half of the men were actually cute. For some strange reason, they were also quite hot. As in, gym hot.

One of them I recognised as a member of my gym (Futa First). Now, ako naman, chicka. Because hindi ko siya know, wis siyang hello from me. Ganon lang talaga ang buhay, di vah? Now, ok lang naman ako duon - however, I do have to say: he's around 5'7", medyo Lebanese / Greek looks, SUPER HOT BOD, pero super shy sa shower rooms. I only saw him shower in the gym once (talagang binilang, folks! Bakla talaga!!!) and he entered and left the shower cubicle in shorts.

Punyeta! Tease! Kung ganyan kaganda ang katawan, imoral na kasalanan ang mag-shorts! Hubo't hubad till ever dafat!


Anyway, there he chatting with his friends, coffee in one hand and sheets of paper in the other. He turned around, looked at me... and continued to look away.

(Aba putang ina mo rin)

I went inside and saw that the GMAT (or something like that) decided to temporarily hold exams in our building. Sa totoo lang, I don't know why, but happy ako dahil the venue was fairly close to the magic loo locashen. That also meant more guys using the special loo. Ako naman, game game. Kahit silip lang, chicka! No need for action, basta may happy happy viewing. Yes, ladies and ladies, ganyan ako ka babaw.

So to continue the story, I entered my room, and hello. One million emails and additions to the to-do list. Gandah! So much for having fun. Oh well. As my lola once said, "be a slave to the grind first before becoming a whore to your desires"

Actually, quote ko yun, but I added my lola's name para naman may street cred. *ching*

So as the day rolled along, I decided - letch! Why not, choknath!? I snuck out the back door and went into the magic loo before my fuming boss could find me. Bahala na si Batgirl!

As I locked the door behind me, I heard the door open and the shuffling of feet moving closer and closer. I peeked through the crack, and yes, believe it or not, it was Mr. Short Hotguy. PROMISE. I couldn't believe it myself, and yes, he was heading my way.

I positioned myself in the magic hole, ready for the feast. He came into the cubicle, popped out Mr. Shortie and proceeded to stream. Paksiyet. Ang ganda niya. It was fairly thin (nothing compared to Mr. Coke in Can) and it was cut (sayang!). But it was such a nice texture - sarap isubo! - and he had a decent pair of balls to go with it. The nice thing about it also was the hair. He was naturally hairy, and it showed in his penis. His pubic hair was obviously slightly trimmed, but it was still rampant enough to show through his gear, and it so complimented his member. I loved it!

But as always, good things come to an end, so he finished his business and left. Now, the thing was I was so excited by Mr. Short Hot that I didn't notice a new guy come in.

I just heard the snap of the lock beside mine, and then, yun. He was inside. He unzipped his fly, and popped out his thing. Now he didn't even bother to hide his thing. He flashed it and when he knew I was watching, started to play with it vigorously. In fairness, it was an awesome dick! Only 6 inches long, yes, but it was thick in the middle and the foreskin was pretty long! Very admirable, to be honest!

However, the thing about foreskin is that it is so awesome to play with, compared to cut guys, that is. Although I have no problems with either condition, I would prefer to see that flappy piece of skin (one more thing to love about Aussies, I reckon). However, if one is uncut, one also needs to make sure one is clean. Now, if you move your skin back and reveal white specks, hindi siya funny. In fact, super smelly siya and all around kadiri to death and back till ever, PROMISE.

And yes, this guy was reeking down there!!!

At first, chicka lang. I mean, we were only showing each other's bits off in the glory hole, but once he shoved his dick under the stall, ibang usapan na yan, di vah! I hesitatingly jacked him off, but after a while, I just couldn't bear it! The stench was unbelievable, and when I actually smelled a whiff of his B.O., aba!!! Wonder woman with matching explosion!

At that point, I lost my erection and he noticed it. I murmured something about "Gotta go" and he packed his thing away as well. As he seemed to be in more of a hurry to leave, I decided to wait until he left so that I could somehow guarantee my anonymity. 

When I finally saw who it was, paksiyet. It was the guy who replaced me in my old job. I don't know WHY he was in the building, but there he was. He was obviously not working there, as he was in his Havaianas and siyorts.

I didn't know if I wanted to throw up and die. Once he left the room, I rushed to get the scent of him off my hands, but five minutes of scrubbing was so not enough. :-(

Tuesday, 24 March 2009


This is a song that my friend used to sing to me when I was 3,568.21 pounds heavier than I am now. Buti na lang line of 3 na ang aking waistline!!! Or else, lechon de leche akish!

But before anything else, let me says HELLOES!

1. QX: Nakuh bruh! I had my picture taken with some tourists from Japangh! Kaloka! Ang ganda nila, ha! Super laki the braso de Mercedes BENZ Cheeeekah! They had their picture taken with me dahil naka-drag akish (in public for the first time chenkyu!). Didn't have any sashimi though. Hanggang window siyafing lang.

2. Anon: Kasi we were going North as far as I remember, pero day! Tumatanda na talaga akish! And WIS na ang AMP Tower! Shut down sila until mid 2009, so wis na the hada there! If there is more chismaks, I will make you ditsu!

3. Rik: Talagang showing the age na! Hindi na tumatalab ang Oil of Olay! Botox na next! Katakot, a!

4. J: True... but I wouldn't mind a part two (GANON!)


ANYway, the kwento of the tabachingchingchingchingching arose (arose daw o! Kaloka!) because the other day, while sitting in the glory loo, I saw this fat guy beside me. He was white, around 5'10, bespectacled, quite fat (I'd say around 170 kilos) and though he has some good looks about him, his jutting belly just didn't make him anywhere near appealing.

Pero alam niyo naman me! Hindi ako out for love, noh! Just kinky fun. So if a guy isn't my ideal, chicka lang basta feel ko. If cute pero di ko feel, then sowrie divah?? Ganun lang yun...

Anyway there I was jacking off and then tumayo si taba para naman kita ko ang kanyang ano.

ABA! Bongga siya, dhay! As in, when it was soft, it was around 4 iches, and as thick as a bottle of coke. At first, I thought it was a trick of the light, but as he kept on massaging his member, it was evident that it was as fat as he was.

Which then brings us to the question: To play or not to play? I mean, hello, medyo funny ng taba niya, ha! But then again, when will I see something like this ever again!?

So in the end, he invited me to another (more quiet) restroom, and I sucked him off. God, everything about him was big. He was a blondish bear - he had hair all over (quite sexy if you'e into that thing) and his balls were HUGE. They were bigger than ping pong balls. When I placed them in my mouth, I could only fit one at a time, and it was the most interesting feeling.

More importantly, when I had his dick in my hand, it was like gripping a coke can. It was THAT thick, and the veins on it (though partially hidden by fat and skin) were thick and throbbing. I was just looking at it for a few seconds because I could not believe how massive it was!

Now, honest tayo! I really didn't want to suck him off - only because he wasn't my type. But diyos me! DaKing Kong siya! Never again will I have this slab of meat in my mouth! So sige sige sputnik! After checking for lesions and such (aba malay mo, noh!), I decided - why the hey!

I made sugod like Gabriella Silang!

My, that was difficult! As in, my mouth was so wide, my jaw hurt! He seemed surprised that I was willing to try it to begin with, but I just couldn't resist! He asked me if I lived closeby, and I said I was with my girlfriend

(AS IF!!)

to which he replied, "Ahh. Cool."

Feeling niya siguro frat boy sucking his ano! Aba naman! The dreams Sean Cody is made of! Hehehe! After five minutes of me going down on him, he gave me the signal - after which his seed fell all over the place. It so good sucking something that big, although I am sure I can't handle it from the other end! Still, it felt fantastic! Can't wait to see him again. Sure, he's not society's ideal man, but he sure makes up for it! :-)

Ok, back to work.

Friday, 13 March 2009

Fast Track!

I just have this strange thing about men who...

...ay, sandali lang. The tradisyonal helloz pala!

1. Quentin: I know! Truly, I say unto thee! So far, I only had one REALLY muscle man (see early entries), and despite the great visual display - actually not very comfortable in bed. So, oh well. Still, Eric Rhodes will always have a place in my loins...

2. Ash: Hija, Mariah hasn't hit any of her hit notes live for a while now. Mostly live tracks, sadly...

3. Mac: Sorry, sis. Sometimes, life just doesn't give me those breaks! Talagang bitin till ever sometimes...

4. Rik: Honest, hindi ako kepay on two legs! Medyo hunos dili ako, pero talangang I attract whores, kaya ayuuun.... HONEST!!! ;-)

5. Anon: Sorry pero I totally don't remember! HONEST! We went to 7 different places in a span of a week, so avah mah! Zowrie!

6. Joaqui: Symbolic daw ako!.. How I wish my life were one big metaphor... but let's not go there. :-)

ANYway, where was I? Men. Siyempre, ano pa, noh! I have this strange thing about men who come and go in 20 seconds. Maybe it's because it takes me FOREVER to cum, even when I am at my horniest! Oli has given up on me, methinks, kasi naman medyo slow to anger akish.

Anyway, one horny day, I went to the magic loo, and there was only one other occupant, and he was on the other side of the glory hole loo. At first, I was a bit hesitant dahil I peered underneath the stall and saw a pair of thongs.

No, not the ones you wear around the waist - I am referring to the wonderful phenomenon of tsinelas! Now, normally, I'm not picky, but there is this one guy who just doesn't do it for me and he's always wearing his tsinelas. Not only does he have a small one, he also doesn't do ANYTHING. As in, otso-otso until bingo pero wis pa rin!

ANYway, I decided to give it a shot anyway. Aba, when I sat down, I saw bigla na may nakatingin sa akin~! Fighter! I thought, maybe this isn't the one. And when I peered into the hole, I saw a cap-wearing 40-year old with a cheeky grin on his face. On the side of his cap, it had his name (Doug), and his footy team. He was wearing a footy jersey (typical here in Australia) and his tan definitely showed that he was of the sporting type.

Now footy (aka rugby) players are a strange bunch. They are big in all the right places, with a little bit of fat for padding. This guy was not as big as the rest of them, but he definitely could have been one.

We started the lovely game of show-yours-and-I-show-mine, and true enough, he was willing to play. In fact, he was raring for it, and his six-incher was mad as hell! It was thicker near the base, but his top was still alright. He was cut (rare for this country) and he was packing it in his balls. They were HUGE. Loved looking at them, really.

Anyway, we were definitely heading somewhere when all of a sudden, his horniness got the better of him. With his briefs down to his knees, he opened his door and wobbled in front of mine. Ako naman, hello! Hindi ito spa! Medyo katakot! But of course, when faced with that prospect, you don't have much a choice but to give in, eh?

And so I did. I opened my door, and stumbled in, shorts around his ankles, his Bonds stretched to its limits around his legs. He sat on top of the urinal lid and I (naturally!) dove in!

At first, I sucked off his dick and I am happy to report that (yay) he fit so well inside my mouth! Loved it! His dick was relatively soft, with only the circumcision ring destroying the silky smoothness. What I found extra surprising about him was how his crotch smelled like. I was expecting sweat and man-scents, but it was surprisingly floral. I mean, obviously, he had just taken a bath before coming over, but something tells me he just showered less than 15 minutes ago.

While sucking him off, my hands moved about his legs, and yes, I can confirm that he is definitely athletic. Something about his legs just screamed rugby player, and his ass felt like it was solid stone underneath a thin layer of jello. I was kneading it while I was sucking off his balls, and man, it was heavenly. From his moaning, I could tell he agreed. Part of me wanted to place a finger inside it (but I was also deathly afraid of getting punched so... no.)

Anyway, when I got back to sucking him off, I decided to give him the full service. There is a way of vibrating my throat while deep-throating, and that always gets Oli. When I did it to this guy, all I got was a whispered "Wait" and all of a sudden, BOOM.

He came in my mouth.

It was a bit sweet, but definitely aromatic. It filled the toilet with that musky man scent and I knew anyone who came in after us could tell. What I found surprising was that it seemed he didn't know he was going to cum. Parang, hello! You could have given me more than "Wait" - but then, he did get the Marcus Espesyal Bibingka.

So there we were. He wanted to move out and walk back to his cubicle, but as he was about to, someone walked in to pee. We had to pretend to be one person (I was sitting on the urinal top at this point - long story) and he was sitting "normally" so that curious eyes will only see one set of feet.

But anyway, while we were there, he was surprisingly sweet. Parang hindi bagay sa kanya na maging sweet. I expected a rough guy who will cum and go, but this guy seemed like he was enjoying the cuddling as well. While waiting for our interloper to finish, his hands casually moved about, as though he was doing this all his life. One look at him and you knew he had spent most of his adult life in the field or in front of the barbie, but this... this was curious.

Part of me was curious as to how he will feel inside me, but that's just stupid curiosity talking. As I was daydreaming, we heard the intruder finish his business and leave. He then stood up and turned around. He asked me if I needed some help, but I said nah. There was a little bit of disappointment in his smile, but sometimes, it is better that way. I gave his dick one last squeeze, and he dressed up to go.

He leaned towards me and gave one hell of a kiss, as he ran his fingers through my hair.

Fuck. Kilabot.

And then, he was gone.