It was 1993. His name was Anton, a former national team swimmer and a second year university student representative. He was very popular amongst his peers and with reason - he was tall, hot, built, and fucking handsome as. He was the kind of guy who would be perfect to show off to mommy. He was smart and well mannered - just the all around nice guy.
But I knew there was something about him, something that was off-center.
One night, we decided to have a drinking session in his house. We were all from the student council at our university and as with most hormonal teenagers, decided that drinking the night away with council money was the best way of capping an eventful year.
As night drew to daybreak, we all retreated to his room. Yup, 10 teenagers cramped into this one room. I shared the bed with him, because it was the only way the shorter guys could fit on the floor (Anton and I were the tallest ones in the group). Somewhere during the night, I found my hand on his member and his hand was on mine. I jacked him off slowly and slid off his clothes so that there was nothing in our way. At one point, he sucked my dick discretely and I was in heaven.
Then I did something stupid: I asked "Why is your dick so small?"
Wow. The minute I said it, I knew I was stupid and arrogant. It's amazing how the brain sometimes does something and the other sensible part of me just sits up with a matching scream: "Whoa! HELLO! What the fuck did you say? HA??? HAAAA?????"
I tried to apologise but the mere fact we had people around us made conversations difficult. Breakfast saw us fully clothed, awkward and cold as a corpse dressed as Carmen Miranda. In the next few years, whenever we saw each other, he was quite distant and such. I tried so much to apologise in one form or another, but every move I made seemed too awkward to be seen as honest.
So what is this entry for? An apology, written on the net for everyone to see, indelible and permanent.
To Snots, I am sorry. I was a dick.