Wednesday, 18 July 2007

tampong kulangot.

i promised myself that i will limit this blog to exploits which i often cannot place in my other blog, only because, well, long story.

however, i will post this only because the readers of this blog (all 2 of them) have an inclination to the gay kind and i would like to hear it from their perspective.

i was really pissed at oli tonight. i don't know why. i mean, i know why, but... it's just that lately i notice that i have been paying for more groceries, washing more clothes, cooking more dinners and cleaning more dishes than i care to. even during my birthday. now, normally i would say i don't mind.

but i am starting to. really.

i don't want to be some person's chimay. there's nothing wrong with being a chimay, mind you, but i would like oli to make some sort of effort to cook or clean or even wash dishes. parang ayoko namang pagsabihan sya. i'm not that kind of person, and i refuse refuse refuse to nag. i want to bring it up sometimes, but i don't want him to do it just because i asked him to do it (how jennifer aniston of me) but because he wants to do it.

ewan ko nga ba. sometimes i can't help but think i am setting myself up for drama. i don't even know if i should complain. however, right now, all i can say is that it is bothering me and i don't like it.

sometimes, i think the reason why i find myself so flirtatious with guys is not only because i want an ego boost, but because there is a certain resentment that i am being taken for granted and this is some sort of stupid, shallow, half-hearted revenge.

i'm not too sure if i can stay in a relationship like this. do i even want to introduce him to my parents now? a few minutes ago, he mentioned that he had an erection.

i just walked away...

...and he still didn't get the hint.

tomorrow i am meeting up with david. for gym.

no expectations. no hesitations. no regrets.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

do not assume that the other person knows what and how you are feeling.....it is better to say it outright than beating around the bush and/or just making him feel that something is wrong and that he must be sensitive enough to know and feel it....mas mabuti pang diretsohin mo na....my partner uses the same technique.....acting wierd, but sometimes i just ignore it....remember it is you who has the problem, Oli might think there's nothing wrong.....so why would he bother himself with your problem...it's not because he might be selfish, it's just that he doesn't want to deal with your issues bec he has his own issues to deal with...i hope i helped....good luck! and happy birthday :-)

kalansaycollector said...

better say it. well in a nice way and dapat right timing.

lets say, after sex?

ayun.

blog hopping!

Quentin X said...

It is true what they say: Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups. Remember this: ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME.
While it is nice if someone who cares can anticipate your every want and need, it does not happen every single time. Most often one has to be explicit and must communicate their desires effectively. Mind you, I also chuck a tanty sometimes.
As for the need to get attention elsewhere, it comes across to me (not too sure about others) like you are trying to justify your infidelities (or trysts whatever you call them). I don't mean to pass judgment. Do whatever you feel is comfortable. I just hope you do not hurt anyone in the process. And that includes your own self.
Good luck!

MANDAYA MOORE: Ang bayot sa bukid said...

sabi nga ni flavier, "Just DOH it!"

Marcus: Bading Down Under said...

To everyone who left a comment: Thank you for indulging me. I have to admit that I was mad and drunk when I wrote this, and sometimes that does get the best of me. Oli and I had a talk and yes, I got to air my thoughts and ideas. He was nice enough to hear me out and ... *grin* yeah. He's nice that way. Kinda makes me fall in love with the guy all over again.

daniel palma tayona said...

falling in love again is best after you kiss and make up after a fight, argument or disagrement. ;-) it makes both aprty appreciate what they have.

besides, you can love the sunshine more after the rain.

cheers!