I go to Fitness First here in Melbourne, and there are times I see all these buff guys, strutting their stuff, their muscles bulging, their eyes wanton. However, as I mention before, it's difficult to be a man of colour in a land of vanilla, and I think Asians (such as myself) get the worst of the lot.
In some ways I guess I can be considered lucky that (a) some of my Father's dark features carried on to me - to offset the feminine Chinese features my mom has, (b) I am tall enough for "their standards", and (c) I have enough muscles to warrant a second glance (but perhaps not a third). Embarrassingly, I still suck my gut in the change rooms, while all these Greek gods take off their clothes in a manner that I would refer to as very Kylie Minogue.
When I see all these guys, I can't help but remember Sandro, my bodybuilding fling that lasted BARELY a month. He was a prawn - GREAT bod, but ewww face. He was also too fixated on my friend, Kiko (see previous entry), and being the proud puta that I am, I refuse to play second fiddle. Syempre naman I have to take pride in myself. I refuse to be a welcome mat for people to trod on. Kahit papaano, I have to preserve my ego, as shallow as that is.
We first met in the gym, and we kept on bumping into each other and saying hi. I never got the hint that he was gay, but I definitely oggled when I could. In retrospect, maybe he noticed and was open to the idea. He was giving me hints perhaps that I was too naive or fearful to notice.
Anyway, nothing happened until one night, we bumped into each other in Megamall. Actually, to be more accurate, the Megamall movie house.
(Before you say anything, let me just bring it out into the open: Yes, I do that moviehouse gig too.)
We exchanged pleasantries and he invited me to sit with their group. Thirty minutes into the movie, he held my hand in the dark and we looked into each other. I knew he was up for it by that time (HELLO! Hindi naman ako engot, no?!) and so after the movie, I offered to take him home.
Of course, home turned out to the Kiko's granny flat which kind of unnerved me a bit. Kiko and I were still enjoying our occasional trysts then. However, most of that happened at my flat, so seeing Kiko's house from the inside made the experience a bit surreal.
ANYway, I ended up staying most of the night, and yes, we had passionate sex. The problem was we were both bottoms (I have had obviously much less experience) but I just have to say bottoming a muscle mary is interesting. You feel all meat inside, in contrast to the softness one normally feels. We both tried topping each other, with disastrous results.
In the pillow talk that ensued, I discovered his beginnings - his hard youth, his decision to take up body building, the steroids that came with the territory - and inside my head, an alarm rang out. I felt that I was being set up to be a sugar daddy, and I didn't find the idea comforting.
So I distanced myself after that. I mean, sex is sex, yeah, but there are limits to how much I want to whore myself. He didn't take too well to that. He sent me a nasty SMS a few weeks after, stating how pointless it was to date someone like me - which I admit I deserve. I'm sure he means well, and it was just the snobby elitist in me guiding my loins.
I still see him around the web though. He joins all these strange contests and wins some of them as well. Last I checked, he was second-runner up for Mr. Cavite - not too sure of the year. Maybe 2004 or 2005. Apparently he joins other less "prestigious" contests - in short, contests where the hosts wear singlets and fit-to-male dresses. Not that there is anything wrong with that - I mean, if that is what you want to do with your life or earn money, then that is your God-given right. As far as I can tell, he is not making life difficult for anyone so really, I'm happy for the guy.
It's just that I am looking for other characteristics in a life partner. I hope that he is ok and he has found someone who can be good to him. He was telling me about someone from Canadia who was willing to sponsor him, and to him, I say why not. I'm sure Canadia offers more than what the Philippines can give him.
I just have to say though that he has an ass that just won't quit - "buns so tight they were bouncing off the wall" - quote from Patsy Stone. And FUCK, he looked hot in undies and without them.