Sunday, 29 July 2007
Lorenzo is not fictitious but I honestly doubt you guys know him. He is currently not PLU and I doubt he ever will. I don't have issues using his real name because (a) there are TONNES of Lorenzos out there, and (b) unless you really knew me from 1990 onwards, there is little reason why any of you would know him.
If my use of real names upsets any of you, please tell me. I have tried to use codenames in situations where people's identities could be compromised. One of these days, I will revisit my earlier posts and see if I could clean up other entries where I have been a bit careless.
Until then, sorry! and I hope you have all been enjoying the blog. I promise to blog again when I am less busy. :-)
Random shoutout: Welcome back, Mr. Hubs!
Thursday, 26 July 2007
The joe next door was cute, a bit overweight, but still attractive in a slightly teddy bear kind of way. Plus he did have a nice dick.
The problem was when I stuck my head up to perve, a guy walked in and saw me. To make things better, it was Rich, a guy who knew me and Oli. In fact, we are good friends with him and his partner, Josef.
I ducked my head back in and knew that I was caught. It doesn't take a genius, really.
Anyway, I ended up breathing heavily, as though I was giving birth to raging bulls. Rich and I are fairly close, but Josef and Oli are quite good friends, and this definitely had me worried.
Funny thing was, I was so upset that I didn't notice Rich leaving and a new guy pop in. He heard my breathing, thought I was having the time of my life and so he decided to hang outside my cubicle with his johnson hanging out. Despite the fact it wasn't the biggest joe in the world, I decided to throw caution to the wind and just frak it. I mean, if I was going to get busted, I was going to get busted.
*sigh* What a letch.
Anyway, I ended up jacking him off and having him cum in my hand (I wasn't in the mood to blow someone) and off he went.
I can be weird sometimes. Oli is the light of my life and (in the words of Meatloaf) I would do anything for love, but I won't do that - give up toilet sex. Ah, the irony of my faulty reasoning.
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
I just wanted to remember this before I forget.
I just touched Ethan Hawke's dick.
Ok, ok. Actually, he just looked like Ethan Hawke, but this guy had a massive cock and duck egg balls. I loved it. UNfortunately, I only got to touch it under the wall of the cubicle. It was clear he didn't know what to do and only reluctantly knelt near the wall and let me do my thing. I loved it nonetheless.
I wish I get to see him again.
I know it is shallow, but I just find it funny. Heck, to be really honest, I find it such an ego boost. However, I know that it is based on pretense and I really have no intentions of getting it on with this guy. Why not? Because he's straight.
Let's face it. We've all done it - fallen for a straight man. However, as most stories go, straight men usually don't go for gay men, and these things usually end in tears for one of the affected parties. Believe it or not, the tears often go to the gay guys.
What a waste of mascara, don't you think???
Anyway, the last gay guy I fell for was one of my close friends, Lorenzo. Loz was funny - he had long hair that he played around with constantly, he had a Barbra Steisand nose that made him so adorable, he was a gymnast so he would do all these cartwheels and pretzelesque poses that made him a notch above the normal class clown.
But what made me so gaga over him, I think, was the fact that deep down inside, he was a dark, lonely soul and he needed someone just as dark and lonely to anchor him. That was me. He would stay over my house 4 days a week. On days he's not at my home, I would be at his place. We would talk until the wee hours of the morning and when it's time to go to sleep, he would cuddle up next to me, like a child clutching a security blanket.
There were even times when he would maneuver his hand on top of my crotch, but not really doing anything else. I sat there, helpless in the dark, as my dick grew bigger and bigger in size. It was quite embarrassing at that time, but I definitely didn't do anything to rectify the situation, or release my own tension.
Why? Because I was in heaven. Because there was a certain innocent playfulness in his actions that I could not betray by going any further.
At one point, I gathered the courage to do the same to him and as daybreak crept up on us, I would find myself still awake, my hand on top of his hard dick, not doing anything other than resting my hand on top of his member.
After a few months of that, we began playfully wrestling with each other, and there were times he would just lie on top of me, breathless after the wrestling match, our penises (or penii as one of my friends insists) throbbing against the thin fabric of our boxer shorts. Sometimes, when we sleep, we would cuddle and our lips would be a mere centimeter apart - but we never kissed. We never had sex. We never touched each other except through our clothes.
The only thing we managed to do successfully was drift apart. I got myself a girlfriend, and he eventually got himself one as well. We tried to get back together at one point, but it was VERY clear he had already changed. In some ways, so had I.
Aside from Ricky, a university professor I was close to, I think no one suspected a thing. Perhaps it is a good thing. Ties were easily severed clean and our lives were just less complicated that way. However, deep down inside, I am fearful that I will forget these memories, and I don't want to lose that part of my life. Those were good days, and part of me will die if I forget what it was like to almost touch, almost kiss, almost fuck someone I will die twice over for.
Don't get me wrong - I no longer pine for him. I know he is happy where he is, and I am definitely happy where I am. However, I do miss the old days. I miss the innocence of our actions and the rawness of what I felt was love.
Sunday, 22 July 2007
The interesting part came after the workout. We went to the showers and I stepped into the cubicle first. I finished my thing and as I came out, he finished as well, but he towel-dried outside where I could see him (no one else taking a shower at the time). I joked at how I could not take him anywhere, pointing to the puddle of soapy water at his feet, but in all honesty, I was sneaking a peak at his tool as well - shet ang laki talaga ng ulo nya. Plus may foreskin so extra cute points.
We had dinner (I was really hungry) and I realised that it was time for us to fairly get to know each other. That led me to one dilemma: Should I out myself or not? In the workout we shared, it was clear na diretcho ang kanyang pananaw. I decided to out myself the minute the conversation gets to relationships and such - but sadly it never did.
Pero I think the worst part about the entire thing (aside from the pain he inflicted on me, thanks to his evil workout), is that he turned out to be the loud, kainis white boy with matching American accent - the type that most Australians hate. Funny how weak someone can be when viewed under harsh light a second time around. But then I guess we can say that about everyone, really. Myself especially.
Anyway, David is now in Brisbane for a vacation, while I am stuck at home, waiting for Oli to come back from work. I am starting to feel very Marie Claire.
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
however, i will post this only because the readers of this blog (all 2 of them) have an inclination to the gay kind and i would like to hear it from their perspective.
i was really pissed at oli tonight. i don't know why. i mean, i know why, but... it's just that lately i notice that i have been paying for more groceries, washing more clothes, cooking more dinners and cleaning more dishes than i care to. even during my birthday. now, normally i would say i don't mind.
but i am starting to. really.
i don't want to be some person's chimay. there's nothing wrong with being a chimay, mind you, but i would like oli to make some sort of effort to cook or clean or even wash dishes. parang ayoko namang pagsabihan sya. i'm not that kind of person, and i refuse refuse refuse to nag. i want to bring it up sometimes, but i don't want him to do it just because i asked him to do it (how jennifer aniston of me) but because he wants to do it.
ewan ko nga ba. sometimes i can't help but think i am setting myself up for drama. i don't even know if i should complain. however, right now, all i can say is that it is bothering me and i don't like it.
sometimes, i think the reason why i find myself so flirtatious with guys is not only because i want an ego boost, but because there is a certain resentment that i am being taken for granted and this is some sort of stupid, shallow, half-hearted revenge.
i'm not too sure if i can stay in a relationship like this. do i even want to introduce him to my parents now? a few minutes ago, he mentioned that he had an erection.
i just walked away...
...and he still didn't get the hint.
tomorrow i am meeting up with david. for gym.
no expectations. no hesitations. no regrets.
Monday, 16 July 2007
I went to see my cousin today in the city and I decided to duck into one of the sleeeezy places advertised in www.squirt.org - it's a website where they list all the nasty beats in some popular parts of the world. I have yet to check out entries for the Philippines, but yeah. Anyway, ended up this super old building. It was quite scary since the "happy" place was in the basement - in the lowest part of the stairwell actually - and people can get stabbed and killed and no one would notice for days. Super scary sya.
Anyway, braving that, I pushed this unmarked door and *hello* CR pala sya. Very small sya. Urinal for two tapos may isang toilet. Yun lang. Pero the guys there were pretty interesting. Yun matanda was there for a while pero umalis (hindi mabenta eh). Yung matitirang dalawa cute. Isa medyo in his 40s, pero HOT. Para syang daddy sa mga porn flick. Yung isa naman, mid-20s, medyo redhead/brunette na hindi mo alam. Both were cute, and after ten seconds of eye contact, both had their cocks out. The matanda had a long one pero thin. Si Red naman medyo longer than mine, pero thick. Both uncut (YUM!) and quite delectable.
Red didn't take long though. After two minutes of self-indulgence, he ran to the sink and spread his juices there. Tanda on the other hand was a fighter and refused to let up. He kept on playing with himself and (yes I am bad) I ended up sucking him off until he came. When he was at the brink though, he made it a point that I wasn't to continue sucking him. I guess he didn't know if he was positive or something (or maybe he was positive to begin with), and didn't want to take any chances, which I respect. I have been with a guy who was HIV positive and I have learnt a thing or two.
(fyi: I am negative, and I have been having HIV tests twice a year for good measure. Still ok on that end.)
ANYway, that was an interesting experience. Parang porn flick scene sya, except I consider myself the overweight extra that no one notices masturbating in the background. Still, I loved the excitement of the whole thing and I have to admit I have all intentions of dropping by when I can. I am such a whore.
On a side note, can anyone please forward me the address of this artist's blog... He draws and paints and then he adds stories about his life after each artwork. It's really an awesome awesome blog and my firefox died before I could copy the link and add it to my own bloglist. If anyone knows what I am talking about, I would be eternally grateful for the blogspot address. Thanks in advance.
Friday, 13 July 2007
I did message him that I was going to be in his vicinity this Wednesday and he said he might meet me there. I'm not sure how that will turn out. I'm sure it won't lead to anything, but I will be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to start something.
This is really shitting too close to home. I kinda ask myself why I am doing this, and I only realised this morning that it's probably because I feel Oli is taking me for granted. There are so many things I do for him, and it's starting to get to me, I think. I really don't want to be considered anyone's domestic help - but then again, that is a trap I think I laid for myself. I fear sometimes that my eagerness to please Oli is taking its toll on my ego. Having dips on the side - even the thought that someone might actually find my beached-whale body attractive - is boosting what little self-esteem I have left.
Funny how I try to defend myself as being not shallow and self-obsessed. With this entry, I think I have just debunked my own statements. How typical...
Thursday, 12 July 2007
1 Canadian (aka David)
1 Steam Room
30 minutes of chatting
1 bus stop
Put one Marcus in a steam room. Let it simmer for 3 minutes or so. Take one David, fully undressed and make it walk from the lockers to the showers. Put David in showers for a minute and add shorts. Place David in steam room. Let Marcus apologise about putting eucalyptus and allow David to continue the conversation. Make Marcus subtly look at David's awful hair (conditioner, hijo, conditioner!!!) but gorgeous body. Let them talk for 30 minutes or so. Take Marcus out of the steam room before it melts. Remember that Marcus is no longer in his 20's so be very careful with him. Place Marcus in the shower and let him cool off. Then, dry off Marcus and move him to the lockers. After 2 minutes, do the same with David. Let Marcus dry off his hair and put on his shirt. Afterwards, move David into the lockers.
Now Marcus can dry off his legs and put on some undies. At this point, you will notice that David will be looking at Marcus' legs while he dries them and stares at his butt. Let Marcus put on his shoes before the supermarket closes. After buying the necessary things, let Marcus walk back home. At this point, David should be dressed and calling someone on the phone while waiting for his bus. Once Marcus is within talking distance, let him initiate conversation about meeting him again. David will then ask for Marcus' number while Marcus is playfully pushing him towards the bus which has just arrived.
By the time Marcus gets home, he would have received an SMS from David, stating that in case Marcus is ever near his regular gym, he should call David up.
Now, if Marcus doesn't call, then your dish would have been ok. If he calls or texts, then his goose is cooked.
In fairness, I didn't REALLY flirt that much with the guy, and I wasn't too obvious in perving. I think he was more lonely for any kind of good company more than a fuck. I honestly think he isn't gay - but rather sad and homesick. I know how it is to be in a foreign land with people making fun of your accent, so yeah. I will sms him soon because my doctor is close to his suburb.
Vahala na si Vhatman!
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
There are gym instructors and there are gym instructors. The first type is the one that looks great and is very professional. They train you hard, you sweat, you groan, they smile but at the end of the day, you look better for it. They are quite friendly and once in a while, you spot them a beer at the local pub - low cal, low carb beer, of course.
The second type is the one you want to smother in butter and honey. They are like the first in most aspects, but they also have that look in their eyes that wants you to go horizontal with them, and not just in terms of push-ups.
The first type you see all over the place. I have only encountered a handful of the second type, though. Here is
(aside: I know that, at times, I make
ANYway, as I said, I have had none here. In the Philippines, I have had several. Let's face it: Slimmers' World (in the good old days, at least) was the in place to pick up and SOME of the gym instructors were just as horny as any peach-blooded man in shorts.
I don't remember the name of the first gym instructor I "met" - I think his name was Allan and he was from SWI Megamall. He was built like a tank with a little bit of fat on all sides. He would go into the sauna wearing nothing but a small towel which barely hid his wares. He wasn't particularly well hung, but he had a nice foreskin - quite rare in the Philippines. He dropped by my place twice and he just lay there and let me do my thing. After a while, I got over it. I never paid for his services but one time, I saw him in the sauna and as I was drying off in the main area, I saw a very effeminate client walk out of the sauna, open his locker, take out some money, and walked back into the sauna.
It doesn't take a genius, folks...
Anyway, before you all rush off to Mega to scope the goods, I heard that he was fired because of sexual harassment. Apparently, he did something funny while measuring the stats of a female client. Yes, ladies and gentlemein, he is - in the words of McVie - a BiBot.
The second one is actually Bong, a good friend of mine still and he was crazy enough to play around inside the men's locker area when I was last in Slimmers. His dick is nice and Jesus he can top like there is no tomorrow. Because I have gotten used to Oli, his dick now seemed small, but at the time I swear it was trying to crack me sideways. We first started playing around when there was still a Slimmers' World in Robinsons' Galleria. The sauna was designed in such a way that you can stay inside and see if there was someone coming in. So it was perfect for playing around. That sauna had seen so many interesting moments between me and Bong. Admittedly I feel weird because I know Bong's wife, but still I have to admit, I miss Bong's crazy moments. He has a smile that just. won't. quit.The third is Nav. Nav is very VERY cute. He has a baby face and his body is not that bad, to be honest. I had a huge crush on him when he first came to Slimmers and I never thought he would bite. One night, it was raining like hell and he was stuck in the gym. The lights were turned off and he was just standing outside the building, looking like a pauper. Siyempre naawa naman ako. I proposed that we (my AFAM friend Johnny, Nav and I) have a late night snack and then everyone can sleep over at my place. Surprisingly, he accepted!
So to cut a long story short, he became the object of lust of both myself and Johnny. Nav came in less than 5 minutes (trust me - if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't have lasted long either). Strangely enough, he was very particular about his participation. He would not suck or kiss but is willing to be played upon - much like Allan. I guess it's a trait of "macho" guys who are willing to play around.
When I saw Nav last, we had a quickie in the gym's locker room, but yeah, he had not changed. He came in my mouth but he didn't want to reciprocate in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't mind having another go at the guy, but I think he is definitely not a keeper. Just something on the side - like atchara. Pretty to look at, but you wouldn't really crave for it.
All in all, I would say Allan had the nicest cock. Pretty thick and the foreskin is a nice touch. Nav is definitely the cutest and has an ok dick, but Bong wins in the overall category. He is passionate, he knows how to keep it low, and he can REALLY participate.
That's all. No more reminiscing today. :-)
Sunday, 8 July 2007
In some ways I guess I can be considered lucky that (a) some of my Father's dark features carried on to me - to offset the feminine Chinese features my mom has, (b) I am tall enough for "their standards", and (c) I have enough muscles to warrant a second glance (but perhaps not a third). Embarrassingly, I still suck my gut in the change rooms, while all these Greek gods take off their clothes in a manner that I would refer to as very Kylie Minogue.
When I see all these guys, I can't help but remember Sandro, my bodybuilding fling that lasted BARELY a month. He was a prawn - GREAT bod, but ewww face. He was also too fixated on my friend, Kiko (see previous entry), and being the proud puta that I am, I refuse to play second fiddle. Syempre naman I have to take pride in myself. I refuse to be a welcome mat for people to trod on. Kahit papaano, I have to preserve my ego, as shallow as that is.
We first met in the gym, and we kept on bumping into each other and saying hi. I never got the hint that he was gay, but I definitely oggled when I could. In retrospect, maybe he noticed and was open to the idea. He was giving me hints perhaps that I was too naive or fearful to notice.
Anyway, nothing happened until one night, we bumped into each other in Megamall. Actually, to be more accurate, the Megamall movie house.
(Before you say anything, let me just bring it out into the open: Yes, I do that moviehouse gig too.)
We exchanged pleasantries and he invited me to sit with their group. Thirty minutes into the movie, he held my hand in the dark and we looked into each other. I knew he was up for it by that time (HELLO! Hindi naman ako engot, no?!) and so after the movie, I offered to take him home.
Of course, home turned out to the Kiko's granny flat which kind of unnerved me a bit. Kiko and I were still enjoying our occasional trysts then. However, most of that happened at my flat, so seeing Kiko's house from the inside made the experience a bit surreal.
ANYway, I ended up staying most of the night, and yes, we had passionate sex. The problem was we were both bottoms (I have had obviously much less experience) but I just have to say bottoming a muscle mary is interesting. You feel all meat inside, in contrast to the softness one normally feels. We both tried topping each other, with disastrous results.
In the pillow talk that ensued, I discovered his beginnings - his hard youth, his decision to take up body building, the steroids that came with the territory - and inside my head, an alarm rang out. I felt that I was being set up to be a sugar daddy, and I didn't find the idea comforting.
So I distanced myself after that. I mean, sex is sex, yeah, but there are limits to how much I want to whore myself. He didn't take too well to that. He sent me a nasty SMS a few weeks after, stating how pointless it was to date someone like me - which I admit I deserve. I'm sure he means well, and it was just the snobby elitist in me guiding my loins.
I still see him around the web though. He joins all these strange contests and wins some of them as well. Last I checked, he was second-runner up for Mr. Cavite - not too sure of the year. Maybe 2004 or 2005. Apparently he joins other less "prestigious" contests - in short, contests where the hosts wear singlets and fit-to-male dresses. Not that there is anything wrong with that - I mean, if that is what you want to do with your life or earn money, then that is your God-given right. As far as I can tell, he is not making life difficult for anyone so really, I'm happy for the guy.
It's just that I am looking for other characteristics in a life partner. I hope that he is ok and he has found someone who can be good to him. He was telling me about someone from Canadia who was willing to sponsor him, and to him, I say why not. I'm sure Canadia offers more than what the Philippines can give him.
I just have to say though that he has an ass that just won't quit - "buns so tight they were bouncing off the wall" - quote from Patsy Stone. And FUCK, he looked hot in undies and without them.
Saturday, 7 July 2007
One of my earlier acquisitions was a black butt plug. It was 5-inches long, slightly fat in the base but tapers slowly to the top (as with almost all butt plugs). The problem was the base was VERY soft and could easily fold into itself. Now the problem with that is the anal muscles can sometimes be so strong that it can suck in the butt plug and you will find yourself filled in ways you normally would not want to.
This happened to me once and Oli was in such a panic! For one, medyo mahal ang hospital dito. Second, medyo nakakahiya kaya, no!? Anyway, he kinda stammered his apologies while I fished it out quite calmly. Parang pro, pero sa totoo lang, super kabado ako. Syempre hindi pinahalata (tangina. Ms. Universe R-UE talaga).
This time, habang nasa Europe siya, I treated myself to The Colt Triplets and Mr. Blue. The Colt triplets are three butt plugs, appropriately labeled small, medium and HELLO. So far, I have been able to take the medium, pero the large might be a bit too adventurous for me. However, there is Mr. Blue who is very blue and VERY big. That one, I can say, is as big as Danny, but obviously not as flexible and definitely unforgiving.
Let's face it. When you are topped by a guy, he might start out rock hard, but he slightly digresses into a slightly less-rigid state. He is still hard, yes, but not as brutal. When you are invaded by a toy, the toy stays rock hard and yes, you just have to grip the sheets and bear it.
Anyway Mr. Blue and I have only had 3 sessions so far, and only one was anywhere near successful. However, I do have plans of pleasuring myself with Mr. Blue soon and I will keep you posted.
As I said to CC, practice lang yan, pare.
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
Oli is coming back tomorrow morning and I am excited. It also means no more hanky panky stuff, but that's fine. I can live with that (for the next 2 days anyway). I just miss his company so much. I think that accounts for my crush on Alex (and of course it could also be the instant I saw parts of his member in the flesh).
So far, life has been so boring without Oli, and I can't wait to have him in my arms (and around my legs) again. Yeah, he is not a Danny but Danny ain't an Oli - and Oli weighs more in so many wonderful ways.
Monday, 2 July 2007
Did make up again and yes, I swear this is the last. Super tiring ang journey to the set and it's really not worth my time. So yeah. Last na ito...
Anyway, I saw Alex again, and I have to say I think I've figured him out. He is one of those people who are comfortable showing off their bodies. He asked me to hide his hip bruises from the harness yesterday (para siyang linatigo) and yes he stripped to his jocks again. I asked him to wear his lower costume but he replied that he couldn't be bothered looking for it. So yun. Ganda. I added make up to his hip and lo and behold, he was wearing Y-briefs and parts of his ANO were seen.
But of course, I didn't make pahalata. As with any Ms. Universe Runner-Up Ever, poised ako. However, all good things had to come to an end, and yes, I am giving up the fight. As nice a cock as he may have and as cute and adorable as he is, he is not an Oli and I'd rather have a shred of Oli than a piece of meat.
Yun lang. *bow*exit stage left*
Sunday, 1 July 2007
However, just as I entered the set, I realised the were planning the harness scene today and yes, I saw my crush, Alex, on a harness - wearing only his undies. For some stupid reason, they didn't want to practice with the costumes (HELLO!) so he stripped to his briefs and was swinging away. Like most harnesses, it supports you in your jock area so yes, I saw most of what he had to offer. Low hanging and definitely big balls.
Hmmmm. Maybe I will not complain just yet.
This morning, dropped by the set and took pictures of Alex. He was so surprised to see me. He jumped out of the carpet and excitedly asked if his make up was ok. He was sooooo cute. Kagigil siya! I was half tempted to drag him out of the set, but the director was really pissed at other things at this point, so I decided not to push my luck. I just stayed back and watched the sword fight.
At one point, he had to jump up, and because Aladin costume siya, kitang kita ang kanyang ano. Shet. I had to leave after taking two pics. Baka tigasan ako. Kakahiya.
Yes, he is the one on the left with very clear pubic hair sticking out. Also, his body looks mighty small here. It's much more defined in real life. And yes, bakat na bakat sya. And it looks mighty meaty.
After that, I went to the sauna and I have to say that it was an interesting experience.
First was David. Medyo chubby (not that there is anything wrong with that) but ganda ng ari. Super haba the foreskin - nakaka-aliw. After 5 minutes of making out, he wanted me to stay the night with him. Ako naman: Hello. I'm not THAT good. Pero syempre demure ako so hihihi na lang.
Second was Brian who is (believe it or not) a drag queen (albeit a young one). Obviously he wasn't in his outift, but I was just so curious as I have never made out with a Greek drag queen before. SO that was an experience and sadly, not worth mentioning more.
There were several others, but nothing worth blogging about. Seriously I was depressed at the choices. Yuck. However, as I was about to throw in the towel (yes, the one wrapped around my waist), Danny came along.
Danny is a banker by profession - single, cute, kinda short though (5'8"), great conversationalist, and quite possibly the thickest cock I've ever had in my life. At one point I was really scared (hindi naman ako power bottom, no?!) but, as any Ms. Universe Runner-Up Ever would do, kinaya. To make things worse, he really took his time to fuck my brains out, so by the time I looked at my watch, I had taken an hour of pounding from that horrid piece of meat (and I loved every minute of it). He was very passionate and very romantic (kisses and such) and I have to admit: that was the best fucking pounding I have ever had in my entire life. Not even Oli can match him in that respect.
Kinda scary actually. If Oli knew what he was missing out on, I'm sure he would dump me. Heck, if Oli knew what I was doing behind his back, yeah, he would dump me for sure. I have to say though... Danny managed to make me feel special when he fucks me. I'm not sure Oli ever did that to me. I think that is what I will miss, more than the monster cock.