Sunday, 9 December 2007
(And as I type this, I am reciting the lines from e. e. cumming's poem. Bakla talaga, folks!!)
Anyway, this song was the IN song when I first met Nando. Nando and I were both from the same all-male dorm at my university. He reminded me so much of Jestoni Alarcon (who was also the IN actor then). He had dark skin (yes, I love men with dark skin) and a Close-Up sparkly smile. He was a mad tennis player, fit and trim in all the right places. The only bad thing about him was (a) he tried too hard to speak English - which made listening to him try a bit disconcerting, and (b) he had some delusions of making it big as a singer, even though he can't sing well enough to earn a cent on the streets.
But still, he was a looker, and I loved just staring at him from the corner of my eyes. He was an avid sportsman, and all the basketball teams in our dorm wanted him in their team. He was also a tennis freak, and he represented our university in competitions where he would normally bring home at least a silver medal.
One day, I dropped by his room to borrow a book for a class that I was taking at the time. He welcomed me into his room, which he shared with three other guys. Two of the guys were not in the room at the time, but the fourth one was sleeping so I guess we had some sort of privacy.
He told me to sit on his bed, simply because the study desk was really too narrow for two people to use. Anyway, he was talking about the course that I was currently enrolled in, and after an hour or so, we found ourselves talking more and more openly about life, while lying down on the bed, the blanket covering our feet.
We were still talking about philosophy and life, when I suddenly felt his toe rubbing against mine. I didn't pull away - neither did he.
We stopped talking and just looked at each other. His toe became more adventurous and he quickly used his toe to masturbate my own. It was such a surreal experience - but VERY sexy. Soon, he gathered the courage to explore my body, and taking his cue, I found the courage to explore his. It was awkward and clumsy and oh, so very kinky. The thrill of making sure his roommate doesn't wake up added to the excitement, and we continued to talk politics while jacking each other off.
His dick was very nice, quite proportional to his lean body. His dick curved a bit, and a bit thin. Still, it was long enough to guarantee pleasure and grabbing his cock just guaranteed that he was into me. If his dick became any harder, it would burst a vein, I'm sure.
That night, we came in each other's hand, and he had a look in his eyes that asked if it will happen again.
It did. Again. And again. In the swimming pool, in the shower stalls, in those dark dormitory corners that no one notices except those dying for a little fun. He tried to enter me once - with spit (ala Brokeback). It was more painful for him, than for me. He didn't get in far enough to elicit pain and we didn't know any better that time. So most often than not, we satisfied our cravings with kisses and blowjobs and rimming and 69s. There was no corner of that body I have not touched or kissed or sucked. His ass, firm from all those years of running and playing basketball and tennis, was such a pleasure to invade and had i had known of lube and such, I would have been a top from that point onwards I'm sure.
And he loved sucking me off. We would sneak into shower stalls at 3 am, and just pleasure ourselves into orgasm. At one point, I would finger him while his dick was in my mouth, and he would come with such power that he would collapse in a heap afterwards. Given his stamina in the courts, I was actually surprised he was putty in my hands. At one point, he actually nearly fainted and I had to half-carry him back to his room, much to the surprise of his roommates.
When he was horny, he would always ask me in public if I wanted to play "tennis" - our code for sex. I still remember such naivete - so sweet and so romantic. Those were the days. I never thought I was fully gay at that time. I still had a girlfriend, and we were going out quote steadily. He never had a girlfriend, despite the fact that he was such a sport stud. He tried to ask me out, very very subtly - in fact, almost too subtle. I never actually thought he wanted to go out with me until I thought about it a few years later. I didn't know I was good enough for him, and perhaps, that was my downfall.
Years after, he too had come out of the closet and now he is living with a guy in Makati, last I checked. I still wonder sometimes what would have happened if I had been more careful of my handling with him. Would Nando and I be together? What life would we have had if I decided to let him court me?
Anyway, I will always remember Nando with a certain fondness. He was one of the few men who really made me feel handsome, despite all of my ugliness that I see with such clarity.
To Nando, thank you for being my first love. Thanks for all the memories.
Thursday, 6 December 2007
Oli went off to his parent's house to take care of the dog. Ako naman, stay at home at may trabahar to do. Out of the blue, bigla ba naman dumaan ang david. GANDA. We ended up just chatting, and ... ayan na... at one point, had his foreskin in a clothespin and a butterfly clip.
He didn't get hard though. He was just talking and we were fooling around. Nothing sexual. But I did get to see his penis. Twice.
Wala lang. Leche talaga ako noh???
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
But I do remember the first time I saw you. You were in the hot pool of The Spa, your dark fingers playing with the bubbling water and your eyes following the steam crawling upwards to the ceiling. Your dark skin was such a beautiful contrast to the white backdrop of the pool and through the haze, I could almost see the outline of your body and the endless curly wisps of hair that clung on to your beautiful chest and your wide arms.
You looked at me with those eyes, those dark infinite pools, and you smiled. At me. And I was blinded by it, my mouth hazily smiling back at you. Your body lingered a few seconds in the pool, and then you decided to join me. Oh how I enjoyed drinking the sight of you, with every drop of that pool clung to your dark skin. It’s as though every bubble was singing a chorus “Stay with us! Stay with us!” But no, you chose me. The shape of your body was intoxicating, and by the time your ass lifted itself out of the water, I had already melted in my ecstasy.
You joined me in the wading pool, and introduced yourself. Oh, if only I could remember your name. We spent some time talking and chatting about life and work and everything under the sun. When you said that you were a doctor, I could hardly believe my ears. I mean, how could those arms ever be gentle and caring in their mass? But as I learned much later on, those arms were capable of so much gentleness.
We started to carelessly discover each other’s bodies underneath the water’s surface. Your hand crept to my hardening member and gave it a gentle squeeze. My hands found your legs (so well defined) and crept up to your ass. They were so firm and round, every muscle and every hair placed exactly where they should be. Your dick was amazing, especially for someone of such short stature. It too was rock hard, and from the shape of it, I could tell I was in for a ride. It was hilariously thick, and much later on, when I engulfed your member, it was sweetly gratifying to feel it rub against the back of my throat.
For someone so small, you carry a big stick.
When I ate your ass, I was in heaven. I love hairy men and you epitomise beauty in so many ways. I wish I could still finger you now, to have you moaning in my fingertips.
I don’t know where you are now. I have so many questions to ask. How are you? Did you like my collection of Armistead Maupin books? Who are you seeing now?
So many questions. I don’t even have your number anymore. Damn it.
Sunday, 25 November 2007
So the next guy on my reminiscing list is Rick. Rick is such a catch. Coming from a not-so well-to-do family, he has a hunger to succeed that is also latched on to his morals and principles. He is highly pious but still grounded on the reality that he is gay. So in short, he seems to have most of his facilities intact.
I met him when Lola Eddie (hi Lola Ed!) invited me to a sleep over in Shangri-La. No, it wasn’t a threesome that you’d expect, but it was just three men sleeping on a very big bed. Pero syempre before the sleeping, may kwentuhan muna. Aba! Very charming ang Ricky! He was kinda short (around 5’5”), but he had silky skin, a disarming smile, a genuine sense of humour and wit to match. He was sooooo adorable – parang Ding Dong Avanzado ang dating, well, at least when Ding Dong was still DingDongable.
Anyway, while Lola Eddie slept, my hand slowly crept up to Rick’s, at ABA! Kumagat ang lokah! He held my hand and soon enough, (alam mo naman ako) my hand was holding something else.
His dick was nice. Not too short, not too long. Inside my mouth, it felt nice and (as I discovered a few days later) inside my ass, it felt even better. What I liked about his dick was that it was clean. It was smooth as, had naturally sparse hair and had a curve that was designed to tickle. I enjoyed being fucked by him immensely and had he given me a chance, I would have loooved trying to fuck him. Yes, I am a bottom by heart, but still, the chance would have been memorable.
His ass was nice as well. It was naturally bubbly (yes, palaban) and licking his ass was just heavenly. It was clean and well-kept, naturally sparse hair as well. I was in rimming heaven, honest!
In bed, he was mind-blowing. Obviously, when we were with Lola Eddie in Shangri-La, hanggang patagong vlough jhab lang kami, but in the privacy of my flat, he was astonishing. He knew how to lick, shoot and suck – parang tequila, but more intoxicating! I still remember the whites of his eyes as I rimmed his ass for hours on end, and his cum (I swear) tasted sweeter than normal.
All this sadly ended when he was sent off to Japan (ano ba yan!?) by his company. Like Paolo (see previous entry), he was fluent in Japanese and could converse with the locals with gusto, as any Harajuku girl could. However, unlike Paolo, he kept in touch even if it is to pass on syrupy chain emails. He sends me personalised SMSes once in a while and asks me how I am doing. He cares for me, but I’m sure only as a friend.
Like Paolo, he married a Jap chick to stay in Japan for good (Pinoy talagaaaa!), but I don’t think his ship is bound to sink anytime soon. Rick is a decent fellow and would make anyone happy, regardless of gender. Before Oli, there were nights when I stayed up, wondering what would happened if things turned out differently. Of course, now the course is set, for both of us. I do wish him all the best, and I am happy that he, albeit for a short time, “ricked” my world.
Shet, ang baduy. Fifol, wag niyo akong samfalin…
I once had a fling with a guy who looked so much like Paolo Montalban (thus, his name will be Paolo from hereon in). I swear he could have been his twin. Paolo (mine, that is, not the real one) was tall (6’1” if memory serves me), moreno (coffee mixed with a dollop of cream) and fucking handsome as. When I met him at Rex’s party (hi, Lola Rex, wherever you are), I was immediately infatuated (read: libog).
Seriously, who wouldn’t?
ANYway, turns out that we had a common ex (hi, Martin. Wherever you are, screw you), and we spent the night delightfully bitching about him. Of course, I had little to bitch because (hehe) truth be told, we had a one-night stand and a few phone conversations after that (yes, in that order), but he was never a serious dip in my book. For me, his name on my date book is like achuete – it’s there, but no one really bothers to look at it and it’s NEVER taken seriously.
(Hindi rin bitter, folks. Honest!)
ANYway, Paolo and I spent more time with each other. He spent more nights over at my place and it was sweet, in a way. He let me enter him (virgin daw siya oh!) but it didn’t take. I think I was too thick to begin with, and yeah, maybe he was a virgin. IN fairness though, he was well hung – easily 7 inches and fairly thick himself. Buti na lang talagang umubra ang Ms. Talent 2004! Lagok, taas, baba, lahat kinaya! He was awesome in bed and we would fuck relentlessly until the wee hours of the morning. It’s a good thing that my job allowed me the luxury of waking up whenever.
We spent a lot of time together. Our favourite haunt was Elephant Bar or whatever name it has now. It's on 6750 and has a reputation for a mixed crowd. Whenever I see society pages talk about a certain actor (with initials P.M.) flirting with a guy in that bar, I would giggle uncontrollably as I knew this was the closest I could ever get to being in the society pages. :-)
But one night, he admitted to me that he was still fucking around. Now, believe it or not, I didn’t mind it. Care ko – honest! I mean, I wanted to fuck around myself but with him and my two part-time jobs, I really didn’t have the time. What irked me was the fact that he was sleeping around in order to get modelling jobs. He was fucking certain fashion designers and participating in their orgies in order to get ramp gigs. He would elaborate how he would fuck guy after guy, sometimes three at a time for a total of a dozen men in a night. He would suck dicks, big and small, and have every crevice in his body licked and touched and idolised – but not fucked. Daw. Anyway, the end result of this was me, in dignified shock, but still attentive and caring – as any Ms. Universe contestant would do, of course.
But by the end of the night, the veil was lifted, and I realised: he was a whore.
I mean, there is nothing wrong about that, in a sense. Let’s face it: I consider myself a whore of sorts. But I never really had sex in order to advance in life, and just because I don’t doesn’t mean that every guy in the world has that luxury.
That is I realised what I had become in his life. His driver, a source of free food, free sex, accommodation at times, free beer at bars and more importantly, a shoulder to cry on when memories of his ex came rushing back. Yes, folks, madrasta ang role ko. He was still hung up over Martin – and to be honest, I seriously don’t know why. Martin was sooooo NOT a catch.
ANYway, after a while, I kinda sensed that this was not what I wanted in life, and so I let him go. Slowly at first, para hindi niya mahalata and then deus ex machina! He was sent to Japang to work as whatever chuva. So yun. That tragic love story ended. Last I heard, he was married to some Japanese woman in order for him to stay in the country for good.
A few months ago, he SMSed me in Australia – he got my number from my last email to him which (damn email signatures!) had my contact details, and he asked me quite bluntly if I could sponsor him to live in Australia. He was having marital problems and he missed my company daw.
HELL-ER! Ano ako? Tanga?
I honestly said that I didn’t have the power to do that, as, at that time, I still didn’t have permanent residence in Australia. After that, aba. Dedma. He never bothered to know what’s going on in my life, and I did not care to know what was on with his.
Ok lang. Achuete – it demands your attention but at the end of the day, you don’t touch it and some dog eats it instead.
NEXT IN THE SERIES: Japan Series 2: The one that got away
Thursday, 22 November 2007
But I knew there was something about him, something that was off-center.
One night, we decided to have a drinking session in his house. We were all from the student council at our university and as with most hormonal teenagers, decided that drinking the night away with council money was the best way of capping an eventful year.
As night drew to daybreak, we all retreated to his room. Yup, 10 teenagers cramped into this one room. I shared the bed with him, because it was the only way the shorter guys could fit on the floor (Anton and I were the tallest ones in the group). Somewhere during the night, I found my hand on his member and his hand was on mine. I jacked him off slowly and slid off his clothes so that there was nothing in our way. At one point, he sucked my dick discretely and I was in heaven.
Then I did something stupid: I asked "Why is your dick so small?"
Wow. The minute I said it, I knew I was stupid and arrogant. It's amazing how the brain sometimes does something and the other sensible part of me just sits up with a matching scream: "Whoa! HELLO! What the fuck did you say? HA??? HAAAA?????"
I tried to apologise but the mere fact we had people around us made conversations difficult. Breakfast saw us fully clothed, awkward and cold as a corpse dressed as Carmen Miranda. In the next few years, whenever we saw each other, he was quite distant and such. I tried so much to apologise in one form or another, but every move I made seemed too awkward to be seen as honest.
So what is this entry for? An apology, written on the net for everyone to see, indelible and permanent.
To Snots, I am sorry. I was a dick.
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Kasi ganito yun. Earlier this year, Merlot and I had a bit of a fling. No sex involved, pero may attraction ng konti. And then one night, may I invite ang lola niyo and lo and behold, nakita ko ang kanyang ano. Fondle ng konti but wis ang akshen. Ang tanga ko - I wrote it sa luma kong blog (hindi iri) pero it was in may-I-tago mode. One day, hiniram ni Oli ang aking laptop tapos yun... buking ang lola niyo. May I away kami pero kiss and make up ng di oras.
Ngayon, ayun. Tampo siya. No wonder hindi kami nagjujugjug. Kating kati na nga ang lola niyo pero wala pa rin. At least now I know why wah sya sa mood.
(serious na raw)
Kanina, while we were having dinner, it took so much of my self-control not to cry. As in, honest. Sana naman, kung magagalit siya, yun bang may tamang dahilan. Sana naman may valid reason. Halimbawa, nakita niya yung blog na ito. *OR* may nagsabi sa kanya na may himalang nangyari between me and David. Sana naman di ba.
Pero ito, hindi eh. Talagang super tampong kulangot. I think the reason why I wanted to cry is that there is NOTHING I can do to redeem that trust with Oli. Hindi ko sinasabing walang siyang dahilan. The mere fact that may blog ako na ganito di ba??? Parang HELLOOOO. Pero it was the sense of helplessness as well that really ticked me off.
So after he told me, he was ok na (ready for action), pero ako naman, sorry. Wah na the mood. I think the scary part is that part of me will want to use this as an excuse para alam niyo na ladies and gentlemen. So far, good ghurl (relative noh!) akish, pero kung ganyan lang naman pala... Well...
Alam niyo. Hindi ako magsisinungaling. I am not a good person. I am not the worst person in the world, but I'm not the nicest one either. But I like to think I am redeemable in some form - and that's why I love Oli. He is the symbol of things that could be, a future where I too can be pretty.
Tama na. May trabaho pa bukas. Tapos labada pa.
Sunday, 18 November 2007
I love beer. I don't know why. It's fattening, had a horrid aftertaste and yet, appealing in the sense that it's a macho drink. I used to go out with someone who described himself as a peddler for San Miguel. I thought it was such a blokey thing as well - to date someone who sells San Miguel beer for a living. He was buff as well - definitely a looker. He introduced me to his workmates as his cousin, and during gigs which were sponsored by SMB, I would tag along, under the premise of "his photographer".
In retrospect I don't think we would have lasted. The sex was ok and all - he was a novice at it, as I was his first (or so he would have me believe). We fucked all night but he had the romantic inclination of a moss-covered stone (and we're not talking about Kate here). Still the body was there. He had the chiseled body plus the abs to boot, and his dick was quite alright. Yummy, even. Long enough to provide pleasure and thick enough to stimulate something, but it didn't hurt much and I am happy to note that it was not one of those dicks that wanted to touch my tonsils the long way. He had such a milky complexion - one could assume he was of the rich and famous as far as complexions go. His skin was flawless and his ass was to die for, so bubbly. Rimming him was a pleasure in itself. His ass I could eat all night and still be hungry for more the next day. I loved fingering him as well, and being the gym buff that he is, he could take the pain, and even said it was quite alright. I was never a good top, and I didn't bother topping him, but maybe I should have. I dunno.
I saw him again the last time I was in the Philippines. Apparently, he joined the Mr. Slimmer's World contest or something like that. I don't think he won. He was chiseled but not buff. So yeah. Sayang. I don't know where he is now. Last I checked friendster, he was with someone, but a few weeks ago, medyo nagparandam siya. Ako naman - deadma. Mabuti na yun. Better than making him think I could ever go back to him.
He has the looks. He can find someone else for sure. I guess one problem I had with him is that he was too seloso. One gig, we went to some music gig and I was his "photographer". I had to make sure I had enough good photos for his report, so may I click forever ako with my digital camera. One shot I took was with the San Miguel beer in the foreground, and the drummer of one of the bands playing in the background. You can barely recognise the drummer as he was blurred on purpose.
Aba. Akala niya I found the drummer cute. Nagtampo ang bakla!!! (In the words of McVie, HELLER!)
Anyway, enough rambling. Time to go back to work. :-)
Sunday, 11 November 2007
Anyway, nothing exciting to take note of really. Super boring ang life ko this week (maybe next week maganda!) I have been working etzetera etzetera - but I have been preoccupying myself with post secret (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/). Super ganda the concept of the website. People from all over the world send anonymous postcards with their secrets written or drawn on the back. I have sent two already - and if you spot them in the course of the next month, may special prize kayo (HONEST!).
O sige. Good luck sa mga contestants!
(feeling host talaga ng Ms. Universe)
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
ANYway, we got pizzas and started on the weed. It was pretty cruisy, but didn't have that vibe as in the first night. After a while, I got a bit more aggressive with the nipple pinching, but he didn't like it. In fact, the whole time we were wrestling more than flirting and it just didn't work. After a few more sticks of weed and a bottle of rum, I wanted to go home. On the other hand, he said that sometimes I'm ok, but something I'm just "freaky" - as in natatakot na ata ang bata.
Good form on him. I was the one in the wrong, so may I politely back out. Parang feeling ko Ms. Universe contestant ako, tapos mali ang rinig ko. Akala ko finalist ako, yun pala Chenk-you girl. When I got home, I apologised again for my rude behaviour, pero dead ma siya. To be honest, he's not really a texter, unless he needs something.
To be honest, I feel I blew it. As in, I feel I've lost a gym buddy (a fairly good one, albeit late and unreliable at times) and a possible friend. If this were the Philippines, I don't think his type would be my friend, as I would find too many flaws and personality cracks that would irk me. However, in fairnez, I think I am the one with more flaws.
Anyway, that's the end of that chapter. I am sure David's name would pop back in here once in a while, but I don't think it will be anytime soon and anyhow significant.
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
ANYway, we always work out together - once a week, minimum. Once we hung around the city and had coffee but nothing else. Just friends lang talaga.
One day, si oli went with his friends to a concert. Ako naman, bored so I invited him to come over tapos inuman kami. We got a bottle of rum to share between the two of us. We were fairly loud because my other flatmate wasn't here at that time, and neither was oli.
So yun, after a while, our conversation drifted to sex and deep throats. He then admitted na hindi pa siya ever naka-deep throat. I suggested maybe it was smelly. He said he tries to clean it as often as he can. I said he would have to pop it out and I can give it a whirf. After a moment's hesitation, he did - in fairnezz, clean nga siya. No smell of yuck whatsoever. Admittedly, his even smelled cleaner than Oli's.
Anyway, he put it back into his pants and said he was waiting for the right girl for the deep throat (this was his first hint that he didn't want to have sex with a guy). Ako naman, sabi ko as long as the girl is safe and all, why not, diva?
Tapos ito ang bombshell: inamin niya na mayroon syang yeast infection - from a girl. KADIRIHHH! Ako naman super halakhak: May I see? Honest, never pa ako nakakita ng yeast infection sa guy. So labas na naman ang ari and may I pakita nanaman. This time, medyo bolder naman ako so hinawakan ko siya. Hindi pumalag! I tried looking for the infection but it was too small. The redness was barely visible in farinezz.
But at that point, I already had his dick in my hand so I played with the foreskin. Tinanong ba naman ako: What are you doing? Sinabi ko ang totoo: I was fascinated by his foreskin because Oli's was not like his. David's foreskin is thicker and you can actually put your finger into the fold of the foreskin even though it is erect and all. Very kinky. Also I was fascinated by the veins in his cock - they were pretty big.
So for a minute or so, I was playing with it. Then he noticed I was starting to jack him off (just a little bit!) so he put his boner back in (but he was already semi-hard at that time).
After a while, our conversation turned to balls and - to cut a long story short - he ended up showing me his balls and I got to feel how big and smooth they were.
After that we spent the night talking and trying to watch the movie but the whole time, my head was spinning. There were times when I would reach out and play with his nipple and after a while, he would reach out and play with mine. It's a manly grab rather than sensual to be honest, and I am trying not to think too much about it.
Aminin ko though - there were times when oli would play with my nipples and I would imagine he was david. Wala lang. I think it's more of the fantasy of "turning a straight man" that appeals to me - it's either that or the idea of getting something that is obviously not going to be mine.
At one point, Oli came back home, but david and i were still in drunk mode so he left us in the living room. That didn't stop me from trying to grope david though. David was resisting me the whole time (I was trying for his crotch and his butt cheeks) but when I ended, he asked "So you're going to leave me hanging?" - jokingly of course. When I proceeded with my attack, he resisted me yet again.
We talked the next day and I apologised. He said it was nothing and he said to just laugh it off. I have to admit though - I'm still horny. :-)
Friday, 19 October 2007
How-ey-vur, while I write this, tulog ang oli sa bedroom, si david naman ay tulog sa sofa, and yes, may dahilan.
May I punta ang oli sa concert and because I had no intentions of going, may I stay home akish. Besides, it's cheaper and such so ok with me, diva? Anyway, may I text kay david and strangely enough, agree ang bata. He knocked on my door, and we both decide to go to a bottleshop to get my fave: bundy at coke.
In fairnez naman, si david ay isang gym buddy. Yun lang. Admittedly there were times in the gym na medyo hello ako, pero alam mo naman - the self control of Mother Theresa (chariiiiing, folks, chariiiing).
But tonight, medyo lashing kaming dalawa, medyo may himalang nangyari. Actually more than one, but not too much:
(I have to use Tagalog here because to be honest, super scared pa rin ako that Oli will find out)
1. Nilabas ni david ang kanyang ari.
2. I got to smell it. (maliniz!)
3. Nilabad ni david ang kanyang bayag.
4. I got to hold it (smooth, ha! And hello ang size)
5. Nilabas niya ang kanyang ari in full.
6. I got to play with the foreskin of his cock. I actually played with the head and had my finger around his head while his foreskin was all over it. While I was doing that, he was getting hard. I was commenting on how vein-y it was, and was prodding him to get harder so I can see more veins. Super evil, noh?
In all honesty, medyo lasing kaming dalawa, and he told me an hour after that, that it was the first time a man held his cock, and he had no intentions of having a guy go down on him.
However, he did mention that he never got, in his entire life, a (a) deep throat and (b) rimming - the two most favorite activities that I do in bed.
Ako naman, medyo scared kasi (a) he's nowhere near a replacement for oli at (b) oli was in the other room while I was semi-groping the guy. Super dangerous and yes, I would have regretted it if oli had stepped out at the wrong time.
Anyway, enough of that. No more time for regrets. Time to sleep. I was thinking of making gapa david habang sleeping sya, but I am not that evil and not that desperate and stupid. Kasi naman medyo puta ang david so I'm sure ok lang sa kanya ang nangyari, but he would not want to push it any further.
Thursday, 4 October 2007
I saw my old student again (aba, may I laban siya) but he didn't recognize me, and he didn't stay long.
The awesome part though is that I got to see Gavin again. Gavin is from the School of Chemistry or Engineering (or something that geeky), but is definitely gay. He doesn't act it but visits the loo frequently enough to raise some eyebrows. ANYway, he was there and under the wall, he gave me a very nice handful of his wares. God, he has always been huge - 8 inches easily - but sadly, he too is a bottom, so no joy for me.
The last guy though is immensely disturbing. He is an older chap - around late 40s - and a bit on the tubby side, but still had some fighting spirit in him. As in, he was average in length, pero my God, he was thick. It's rare for me not to get my firm grip on a cock, and I definitely couldn't, with this guy.
Anyway, I proceeded to give him a handjob under the stall, and as he was nearing orgasm, he suddenly cried.
Yes. As in, hagulgol. I could hear the sobbing start from an inaudible gasp to a raging waterfall (on both ends!). As I started to wipe his cum from my hand, I could still hear him gasping for air on the other side of the wall, with matching blowing of nose and wiping of tears (the latter I could only imagine, but still!).
Anyway, I just thought that was weird. Nothing much has been happening on this end. David and I are fairly close, but only friends, promiz! Right now, Oli is the only one for me. Charing.
Sunday, 23 September 2007
ANYwee, I decided to CR and because it was a weekend, the only one open was the one in the basement of the neighbouring building.
Avahvuh! I noticed that in one of the cubicles, may porn mag sa floor. I can clearly see boobs with a dick in between them. Ako naman - shocked! Palaban eh! So I did my "legal" business and left the premises.
However, while lingering about, I could not help it! I wanted to know! I mean, naman noh! Obviously, the guy inside was playing with his member, and well, I was curious to see if his member was memorable. So after a few minutes of debating, may I pop back in to the toilet akish.
To my shock, the guy is now out of the cubicle, washing his hands. He was around 5'10", around early 40s, a bit stocky - definitely there was a tummy, but it was not ill proportioned. He was of some Italian descent - in fact, he would have looked right at home in The Sopranos. However, bottom line : CUTE.
Because I already stepped inside the loo, I decided to pretend to do my business again. I walked to the urinals, unzipped and pretended to do my thing. Strangely enough, after a few minutes, he followed me and unzipped his fly.
Jesus Christ! Definitely around 8 inches with a base as thick as a Coke can. I was stunned. So beautiful in its uncut glory. I wanted to suck him off so bad, but given it was a urinal, I had to temper myself. He looked at me and smiled in *that* way, which meant in a few minutes, I found myself beside him and jerking him off.
He tucked away his dick and walked casually to the disabled toilets where I joined him. He took out his thick member and proceeded to play with himself. I wanted to suck him off but he didn't want to (a sign that he was married or with a partner, in my experience).
Anyway, I jerked him off for a while, playing with his wonderful foreskin (it was really quite thick and long! LOVED IT!!!) but sadly, he became freaked out when someone walked outside the cubicle.
He zipped up and walked out in a hurry. When I stepped out, the guy lingering outside turned out to be an old fart (as in 70s) who was wanting in on the action.
I walked out with a smile on my face. Super sayang that dick. Oh well...
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Yesterday, to relieve a little bit of tension (tension daw o!), I decided to go to the magic loo nanaman and yes, decided to sit it out. In comes this biker dude (I saw the helmet through the hole) - medyo older (you can tell with the hands), but nicely built naman yung arms niya so chicka. PLUS ang blonde ng pubes niya so I was curious!
He sat down and within a few seconds, he was going for gold. Obviously he knew about the hole and ako naman, fita in the fighter! Laban ang lolah niyo! After a minute, he angled his pelvis closer to the hole.
Nice. Very nice. Slim but long. Definitely do-able.
After a few minutes, we decided to kneel on the floor to do the deed. Aba! Palaban siya! While I was giving him a handjob underneath the wall, I decided to take a peak. If he was leaning back, as I suspected he was, then I would have a small view of who the guy is, care of Mr. Glory Hole.
Shet. It was my former boss.
Kinalibutan akish. Nasira ang aking Ms. Universe complexion. I proceeded to finish him off as quickly as I could and as soon as the final drop of cum fell on the floor, I opened the door and made a hasty exit. Baka mabuking pa akish.
It's funny having "anonymous" sex with someone you have worked with before. Parang it's surreal.
Yun lang. :-)
Sunday, 9 September 2007
An amateur theatre group is staging this production and they needed someone to teach the actors how to do makeup. One of them I knew from way back so they asked me to help out.
Ako naman, being the generous Mother Theresa of all time, agree! Sige! Alex was part of this production so when he saw me, may I hug sya! Ang maganda, feel ko ang kanyang bayag. I knew he was a flirt pero naman! There are limits!
When I was teaching him how to apply makeup, he was slouching - thus, his balls were right on my knee and yes he didn't mind his balls getting the knee massage. Super flirt pero hindi naman ako kumagat (of cohz naman noh! Professional daw ang bading!)
Anyway, what struck my eye was Nick, one of the other actors. Hindi siya flirt, but he looks lovely on stage and he is just so dynamic and full of life. I am attaching his pic for your approval.
I don't think he is gay but MY GOD, he is just delightful to look at, and I have to admit - kung makatingin sya, medyo malagkit. Or maybe it's just my imagination. Hehehe!
EDIT: I have this pic because I needed to remember how to make his face look rough. His character is supposed to have this beard, but his face wasn't that hairy to begin with. So what you see is mostly makeup. ANYway, I didn't post his last name and mostly Pinoys naman ang audience ko, so chenniez. Yun.
Sunday, 2 September 2007
I went to the closest one, which was a few stores down from JB. As I headed for the urinals, I saw a guy standing in the middle of the urinal rows. Assessment: Smashingly handsome, dark skin (*YUMMMM*), around 5'9", definitely in his mid-50's, but built like a tank (you can see it through the thin shirt and the bulging arms) and from what I could kind of see, a nice, long cock. He is somewhat of Pacific Islander look or Brazilian (syempre naman I was not ogling noh), and he just looked exotic (and this coming from me!)
ANYway, I did my deed (I usually choose the one farthest and closest to the end - usually cleaner) but I noticed that he was definitely looking and he was not peeing. In fact, from what I could see with the movement of his hands, he was definitely not peeing at all.
At first, I said to myself: (ala McVie) "Whe-hell.." Oli was only a few doors down and he could definitely enter the place at the most inopportune time. "I better not risk it" I said to myself.
And then I saw his dick. AS IN, HELLO! ANG GANDA! Uncut (like most dicks here), Dark (I *love* dark skin), and somewhere beyond 9 inches.
Naloka akish. At first, I gave him a handjob, pero super sandali lang. As in 10 seconds worth. And then, I realised that the CR had a double door, which meant I would know if someone was coming. I then proceeded to give him a 10-second blowjob and yes, I was in heaven. Super happy.
Of course, all good things had to cum to an end (no, he didn't cum and neither did I) and I left. Oli was waiting, and besides, despite the gorgeous bod, Oli was still more important. Hanggang pantasya na lang sya!
ANYway, I left the CR to go an have a drink. Oli was already waiting in line for a juice drink. I joined him in the line and we proceeded to have a chat about music, DVDs and tralala.
One minute later, si Brazilian biglang may-I-apparition! Syet. Of corz, kabading akish! Pero he looked at Oli and me, and moved on. I think he got the hint.
Thursday, 30 August 2007
Anyway, katakot actually. I know what I feel is just libog, not love. Pero still.
Yesterday, I met this guy in the loo (where else) and he was cute and all. Pero while we were doing the deed (siyempre dahil CR, BJ lang and all), I was thinking - shet. Ganito kaya with David?
KATAKOT MGA SISTERS!!!!
Well, for one, alam ko na chicka ang kanyang nota - I have, after all, seen it a number of times. Second, feel (feel lang ha!) ko na game siya. Third, maganda ang katawan and yes, I can handle a one-night stand (pero downside eh: Can he handle one? I might lose both a friend and a gym buddy).
Anyway, I like the sexual tension in my system - I'm VERY sure there is none for him.
Moral: never fall for a straight guy. Idaan mo na lang sa sariling sikap.
Tuesday, 28 August 2007
Pero ang maganda niyan, inubos namin yung rum - as in one whole bottle in one night. So by the time we finished dinner and the movie we watched after, it was 1 am and we were ready to call it a night. Our flatmate decided to retire so kaming dalawa na lang ni David. I also promised to show him what a bukkake was (don't goggle it - NSFW) and we ended up in xtube, a free porn site for people of all sexual orientations.
Bigla ba namang humirit ang loka. He mentioned that his nipple was very sensitive and proceeded to have a nipple guessing game with me. He mentions that he has never gotten a deep throat from anyone. AND ang clincher ay: he said he was very interested to go to this sex club where guys, gays and girls are allowed to play around with each other.
Hindi rin siya tease, no? I ended up sleeping in our bed while he slept on the sofa, but I could not get him out of my head.
In fairness though: I didn't do anything. I thought about it, but I didn't. Now, I'm just hung over and horny. Yay. Can't wait for Oli to come back tonight.
Sunday, 26 August 2007
Spent yesterday just lollygagging. Yes I was super duper bored dahil wala ang Oli. NagSMS ang David (friends lang kami, honest! Nag-meet na sila ni Oli kaya chicka na.) and we went out. We had dinner with matching cheap white wine and we watched this film na hindi nakakatawa. It's about (hindi ito joke) tupang halimaw. Hindi siya super funny so hindi siya memorable.
The nakakainis na part was that the whole time, humihirit ang gagang David to the tune of "Hindi mo naman ako type, eh" and other chuvas. Ako naman sa loob-loob ko: "Eh, tangina kung gusto mo, game ako." Pero I know he is not the type and he was just baiting. He is a good friend and I want it on that level lang.
Pero obviously, after a while, nilibog ako so after we parted ways, I went straight to the local sauna. This was already near midnight, so konti na lang ang tao.
To be honest, it was a disappointing night. One guy was cute, but SOOOO out of it. As in he was clearly on drugs. He could barely hold his consciousness - much more his erection. Made me think, really: why waste your time and money going into a sex club when you can barely keep your head to enjoy it? I dunno. Just seems strange to me.
The other guy was cute pero ANTARAY! Akala mo ginto but when I got to suck him off (eventually), hindi naman gintong ari awardee! He reminded me of a younger John Barrowman but with bad hair. I mean, attitude in saunas surprise me a bit - it is VERY clear you are there for one reason alone: sex. Why pretend to be Queen Elizabeth when you know very well you are Fontine?
The others were ok. I eventually got fucked by this redhead with an AWESOME dick, but neither of us were into it, and after five minutes or so, we both decided not to fool ourselves.
The last one for the night was this nice bodybuilder - great bod, bad hairline, and sadly a very VERY small dick. I could not imagine a penis that small on a man that big. But I like bodybuilders so yeah, sige na nga, di va???
Anyway, decided to scratch that one to pfft. Maybe I would have better luck next time (if there is one).
Friday, 24 August 2007
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
That's the story of my fascination, yesterday. You see, not everyone knows of the glory hole sa building namin. To be honest, only PLU would know about it. Some staff members know it exists and plug it with toilet paper when they need to use the cubicle.
But once in a while, a freshman would come in and use it, not knowing that there is a way for people to see their wares, especially if they were standing in the "right" position. Yesterday, one such freshman came in. Now, normally, I would take a short glance and look away. You see, water sports just isn't my thing.
But this guy ... WOW. This guy was easily 10 inches - FLACCID. No joke. Naloka ang lola niyo. I had to take a picture because I really could not believe it for myself. Sadly, my camera was in video mode, and in my panic, I ended up taking a video instead. I wish there was a way for me to post this video here as proof that I am not lying, but anyway...
I wanted to pop out of the cubicle at one point so that I can see what this guy looked like, but his friend was waiting to use the same cubicle (and yes, I took a video of him as well! Might as well - eh, nanduon na eh!) so I had to wait. After his friend left, I rushed out of the toilet so I can see what this guy looked like.
Shet. Hindi sya super kagandahan. Well, one can't have everything di ba? Pero ok naman siya, and I like Leb guys naman so chicka na. Pero honest, penis size alone, super chicka siya. Sayang hindi siya tinigasan while peeing.
Monday, 20 August 2007
Kanina I saw this guy who, I swear, kinda reminds me of Hans Montenegro, albeit with lighter complexion and definitely nice bod. He spoke in a deep voice and had the usual outfit that follows the stereotype - red, baggy jacket, cap, bling blings (yes, kadiri), and le cos sportif shoes (which was what I noticed first, because I had to see whether the person occupying the cubicle was a "regular" or not). Under the jacket he had on a super low v-neck shirt, plus a body to die for. In all honesty, super ganda his bod.
He was there obviously not to play hanky panky, but when I started beside him, through the glory hole, I saw the jacket pop off and his hands were definitely heading south... and north... and south... repeatedly.
*ANY*way, I subtly offered to enter his cubicle but he wasn't too keen, but he was definitely hot for it. He reached for mine as eagerly as I reached for his, and when I saw what he had - holy fuck, that definitely reminded me why I loved wogs. It was massive and definitely impressive, especially since he could not have been more than 22.
Sadly though, I think there is some sort of machoness amongst them that refuses the sex aspect of gayness - especially the young ones. Some of them don't mind getting touched, but wouldn't touch others. For some of them, anything goes, as long as their mouths stay untouched.
I get the impression that, for this guy, he likes the anonymity of sex, but nothing face to face. I don't get that much here, especially if one is also a willing participant. I mean, usually, if you are keen to touch and be touched, you wouldn't mind face to face contact. But I guess there is something scary and unnerving about seeing a stranger you are having sex with. The strangeness of it all is in fact the aphrodisiac.
And what an aphrodisiac it is. When he came, it was in copious globs and it. was. sweet. I hope I see his shoes there again soon.
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
However, our story today happened last night. While making out in our bedroom, we decided to roleplay a bit. I tied his legs to the bedpost and handcuffed (yes, I have a pair of those sex-cuffs) his hands to the posts. Of course, the whole time, he was faux-moaning and complaining:
"Oh, no... I am cuffed to the bed! What are you going to do to me? Please, no!"
The whole time I was half-tempted to comment, but I said to myself, "Wag! Don't destroy the mood."
So I straddled him and with him inside me, I rode him in what I felt was extremely acrobatic positions - I was quite proud of myself, really. I felt like Madonna in the video for "Don't Tell Me".
However, after a few minutes, I was beginning to tire (despite the pleasure I always get from being fucked). To make it worse, he started making comments again:
"Oh, please, sir! No more! No more!"
All forms of self-control snapped: "Haha! No one is going to save you now, Hermione!"
Yes. I called my boyfriend "Hermione"... and the look on his face was priceless.
Sunday, 12 August 2007
I killed my legs last weekend, after a long and torturous run in the park. Taking 11-mile runs is no small feat, especially for someone as unfit as I am. But I finished it and I am happy. Took me almost 2 hours, but hey! No complaints here.
Spent some part of my day dreaming about Albert. Albert was my one last love (LOVE DAW O!) in the Philippines before I left for Australia. We hung around each other, and I accompanied him to his modeling gigs. I have to admit, I was his slave. He was so hot, and his body was to die for. I started flirting with him and I think he was interested - but when I dropped the bomb that I was leaving for Australia, ABA! Nagalit siya...
(Marcus 2: Hello! Siyempre naman no! ... Gaga.)
... but we had a good run, and admittedly, I LOVED the shape of his cock, around 7 inches, fairly thick, dark with a fair bit of skin all around. Admittedly, I was captivated by his looks (he really IS a looker), but if I were to be honest about the whole scenario, I don't think he was that into me, and let's face it, it was something that wasn't meant to be.
I tried calling him when I last got back to the Philippines, but the tone of his voice screamed "Not interested." Ako naman, sige. Ganun eh....
But I miss him sometimes. When he smiles, the whole world becomes a lighter place. Even the polluted air of Espana seemed to be more breathable...
...But I should stop wool-gathering. God knows, I am just reliving youthful adventures more than anything else. *sigh* I wonder what he's doing today. When I checked his agency's website, he was no longer there... sooooo... mmmm. OH well.
Edit: Out of plain curiosity, I googled him and hehehe! He is still alive and modeling apparently. *sigh*
Thursday, 9 August 2007
That is why I surprised myself when I felt myself gravitating towards this man, Ron. He was lingering in the cubicle with an open door, but he definitely wasn't pissing. He was just standing there, with his cock in his hand, waiting for someone to look at him and what he was doing so that he can show his wares. See, Ron is a PhD student from the Faculty of English, but he certainly didn't look it. He was shaved bald, he was built like a truck, had piercings on both nipples and had a Prince Albert (NSFW). Looking at the porn stars of today, he would be close to this but a bit younger and slightly less built... oh, and don't forget the full facial hair and the foot-long goatee.
Anyway, when I download Colt or Falcon films and I make the mistake of getting a sex-pig type movie, I usually fast forward to the bits that I like and shy away from the guys with piercings and such. I don't like guys who look like leather bears or who are into all sorts of kink. Don't get me wrong; THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GAYS WHO LIKE FETISHES. It just so happens I am not one of them, which says more about me than it does about them.
But Ron... Wow.
Despite his height (he was around 5'7"), Ron was definitely 7 inches of pure sex with a huge Prince Albert on top. He was very sexual in that respect. Sexwise, he was goooood. He was a soft kisser - quite passionate yet subdued, actually. He knew his body well, and knew how to touch another guy, quite a strange contrast considering the bulk of his body. He liked playing with my nipples, which I liked as well, and he wanted every inch of me. It was such an experience being with him.
I sucked him off and played with his foreskin until he came on the wall. I didn't want him to come in my mouth. God knows it's relatively easy to catch HIV from piercings and such so yeah. No, thanks. But after he came, he wanted to see me cum, so he swung around and starting touching every part of my body until he found my hole. Then he ate me (oh, God, it was VERY good) down there, and using his saliva as lube, he finger-fucked me.
Wow. I can't believe I was fingerfucked in a cubicle at a university, and he didn't use lube at all. It was heaven. I couldn't believe how good he was at sex, and how much in control he was of every minute. The session in the toilet didn't take us longer than 20 minutes, but it was awesome.
The only really bad thing about him was his B.O. - a side effect of taking too much pot, I'm sure. He reeked of marijuana, sadly. To be honest, I think that is why people shy away from him. If I see him next, I wouldn't mind him topping me. Definitely...
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Yesterday kasi, I went to this professional development seminar where this guy was talking about his research on leadership behaviours. It was an interesting seminar but what really got my attention was this balding redhead from across the room. I remember that balding fluff of hair, that gap in his front teeth (ala Madonna), those glasses... I knew I met him somewhere and then I realised... shet!
"Kilala kita, hijo!... in the biblical sense."
Oo, mga kaibigan, kajugjugan ko sya. At ito pa: kasama niya si Bronwyn, the jowa! She's very nice, in fairness, but she is also quite chubby and medyo weird ng konti. Pero naman! I'm sure mas beautimous naman ako kahit papaano...
But it's unnerving to see the man you once has sex with in the same room with his wife. The weird part was I caught myself trying to make eye contact, but he refused (with good reason). I'm pretty sure it was him. I remember the last time we were both in the loo (classy, classy!), he wanted me to fuck him - pero ako naman, I wanted him to fuck me. He had a nice cock, thick enough to give a little bit of pleasure, but not too scary for words. He was a really good kisser as well, and his body was not to be scoffed at.
I tried to imagine him again without his clothes on, and you can imagine how difficult it was for me to concentrate on the talk.
The worst part was Bronwyn caught me looking at them from across the room. I have a feeling that she knows about her hubby and now she knows about me.
The other day, I went inside the loo and saw someone sitting there. It was clear that he was sitting there for the real purpose of the toilet. So I decided to wait for him to leave and played with myself subtly. After a while, I think he figured out what the glory hole was for because in a minute or so, I saw him trying to sneak a peak at what I was going. I figured he was game and so why not, choknat?
So after doing the whole see-saw, I decided to push the boundaries. I signalled him to kneel and I groped him from under the wall.
WOW. Super thick and super big. I saw a part of his face, and he was kinda cute, but not *that* cute. His cock was awesome though, easily 8 inches and could barely get my hand around it. It was a nice member. Anyway, I jacked him off and he came in my hand. After a minute, he ran out the cubicle and out of my life. No tears shed here.
The funny part was after that, I stepped outside and decided to walk home. While walking, I saw the same guy trying to pacify his girlfriend who was furious because he was late. Of course, naturally, I wanted to defend the guy, pero naman hello! Anong karapatan ko, divah? Besides, the girl looked like one of those Hillsong types who retain their virginity until marriage.
Part of me wanted to tell her, "Hija, you really have something to look forward to," with matching turo to her boyfriend's penis.
Another part of me wanted to tell her, "Hija, virginity is not worth it! You are missing out on something big!"
I ended up humming Madonna instead. "Something's coming over meeeee... My baby's got a secret. Mmmmmm...Mmmmm..."
Thursday, 2 August 2007
Spent some time in the loo as usual, but nothing worth writing about. I thought I saw Ethan again, but sadly mistaken. Turned out to be some guy not into asians, which means I don't care about him.
Oli and I spent some part of the morning in bed, and despite the fact I wasn't able to make him cum, we did give it the old college try.
One of the problems I think is that he likes fucking me while facing him, and that is something I don't like. It has nothing to do with angles and entry positions. It's just that when I see him fucking me, I can't help but think of how ugly I must be or how fat I am.
I dunno. It just unnerves me, to be honest. How can someone this hot find me attractive??? Part of me is just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
(PS this isn't Oli. It's Trevor from Corbin Fisher - but it's pretty close)
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Lorenzo is not fictitious but I honestly doubt you guys know him. He is currently not PLU and I doubt he ever will. I don't have issues using his real name because (a) there are TONNES of Lorenzos out there, and (b) unless you really knew me from 1990 onwards, there is little reason why any of you would know him.
If my use of real names upsets any of you, please tell me. I have tried to use codenames in situations where people's identities could be compromised. One of these days, I will revisit my earlier posts and see if I could clean up other entries where I have been a bit careless.
Until then, sorry! and I hope you have all been enjoying the blog. I promise to blog again when I am less busy. :-)
Random shoutout: Welcome back, Mr. Hubs!
Thursday, 26 July 2007
The joe next door was cute, a bit overweight, but still attractive in a slightly teddy bear kind of way. Plus he did have a nice dick.
The problem was when I stuck my head up to perve, a guy walked in and saw me. To make things better, it was Rich, a guy who knew me and Oli. In fact, we are good friends with him and his partner, Josef.
I ducked my head back in and knew that I was caught. It doesn't take a genius, really.
Anyway, I ended up breathing heavily, as though I was giving birth to raging bulls. Rich and I are fairly close, but Josef and Oli are quite good friends, and this definitely had me worried.
Funny thing was, I was so upset that I didn't notice Rich leaving and a new guy pop in. He heard my breathing, thought I was having the time of my life and so he decided to hang outside my cubicle with his johnson hanging out. Despite the fact it wasn't the biggest joe in the world, I decided to throw caution to the wind and just frak it. I mean, if I was going to get busted, I was going to get busted.
*sigh* What a letch.
Anyway, I ended up jacking him off and having him cum in my hand (I wasn't in the mood to blow someone) and off he went.
I can be weird sometimes. Oli is the light of my life and (in the words of Meatloaf) I would do anything for love, but I won't do that - give up toilet sex. Ah, the irony of my faulty reasoning.
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
I just wanted to remember this before I forget.
I just touched Ethan Hawke's dick.
Ok, ok. Actually, he just looked like Ethan Hawke, but this guy had a massive cock and duck egg balls. I loved it. UNfortunately, I only got to touch it under the wall of the cubicle. It was clear he didn't know what to do and only reluctantly knelt near the wall and let me do my thing. I loved it nonetheless.
I wish I get to see him again.
I know it is shallow, but I just find it funny. Heck, to be really honest, I find it such an ego boost. However, I know that it is based on pretense and I really have no intentions of getting it on with this guy. Why not? Because he's straight.
Let's face it. We've all done it - fallen for a straight man. However, as most stories go, straight men usually don't go for gay men, and these things usually end in tears for one of the affected parties. Believe it or not, the tears often go to the gay guys.
What a waste of mascara, don't you think???
Anyway, the last gay guy I fell for was one of my close friends, Lorenzo. Loz was funny - he had long hair that he played around with constantly, he had a Barbra Steisand nose that made him so adorable, he was a gymnast so he would do all these cartwheels and pretzelesque poses that made him a notch above the normal class clown.
But what made me so gaga over him, I think, was the fact that deep down inside, he was a dark, lonely soul and he needed someone just as dark and lonely to anchor him. That was me. He would stay over my house 4 days a week. On days he's not at my home, I would be at his place. We would talk until the wee hours of the morning and when it's time to go to sleep, he would cuddle up next to me, like a child clutching a security blanket.
There were even times when he would maneuver his hand on top of my crotch, but not really doing anything else. I sat there, helpless in the dark, as my dick grew bigger and bigger in size. It was quite embarrassing at that time, but I definitely didn't do anything to rectify the situation, or release my own tension.
Why? Because I was in heaven. Because there was a certain innocent playfulness in his actions that I could not betray by going any further.
At one point, I gathered the courage to do the same to him and as daybreak crept up on us, I would find myself still awake, my hand on top of his hard dick, not doing anything other than resting my hand on top of his member.
After a few months of that, we began playfully wrestling with each other, and there were times he would just lie on top of me, breathless after the wrestling match, our penises (or penii as one of my friends insists) throbbing against the thin fabric of our boxer shorts. Sometimes, when we sleep, we would cuddle and our lips would be a mere centimeter apart - but we never kissed. We never had sex. We never touched each other except through our clothes.
The only thing we managed to do successfully was drift apart. I got myself a girlfriend, and he eventually got himself one as well. We tried to get back together at one point, but it was VERY clear he had already changed. In some ways, so had I.
Aside from Ricky, a university professor I was close to, I think no one suspected a thing. Perhaps it is a good thing. Ties were easily severed clean and our lives were just less complicated that way. However, deep down inside, I am fearful that I will forget these memories, and I don't want to lose that part of my life. Those were good days, and part of me will die if I forget what it was like to almost touch, almost kiss, almost fuck someone I will die twice over for.
Don't get me wrong - I no longer pine for him. I know he is happy where he is, and I am definitely happy where I am. However, I do miss the old days. I miss the innocence of our actions and the rawness of what I felt was love.
Sunday, 22 July 2007
The interesting part came after the workout. We went to the showers and I stepped into the cubicle first. I finished my thing and as I came out, he finished as well, but he towel-dried outside where I could see him (no one else taking a shower at the time). I joked at how I could not take him anywhere, pointing to the puddle of soapy water at his feet, but in all honesty, I was sneaking a peak at his tool as well - shet ang laki talaga ng ulo nya. Plus may foreskin so extra cute points.
We had dinner (I was really hungry) and I realised that it was time for us to fairly get to know each other. That led me to one dilemma: Should I out myself or not? In the workout we shared, it was clear na diretcho ang kanyang pananaw. I decided to out myself the minute the conversation gets to relationships and such - but sadly it never did.
Pero I think the worst part about the entire thing (aside from the pain he inflicted on me, thanks to his evil workout), is that he turned out to be the loud, kainis white boy with matching American accent - the type that most Australians hate. Funny how weak someone can be when viewed under harsh light a second time around. But then I guess we can say that about everyone, really. Myself especially.
Anyway, David is now in Brisbane for a vacation, while I am stuck at home, waiting for Oli to come back from work. I am starting to feel very Marie Claire.
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
however, i will post this only because the readers of this blog (all 2 of them) have an inclination to the gay kind and i would like to hear it from their perspective.
i was really pissed at oli tonight. i don't know why. i mean, i know why, but... it's just that lately i notice that i have been paying for more groceries, washing more clothes, cooking more dinners and cleaning more dishes than i care to. even during my birthday. now, normally i would say i don't mind.
but i am starting to. really.
i don't want to be some person's chimay. there's nothing wrong with being a chimay, mind you, but i would like oli to make some sort of effort to cook or clean or even wash dishes. parang ayoko namang pagsabihan sya. i'm not that kind of person, and i refuse refuse refuse to nag. i want to bring it up sometimes, but i don't want him to do it just because i asked him to do it (how jennifer aniston of me) but because he wants to do it.
ewan ko nga ba. sometimes i can't help but think i am setting myself up for drama. i don't even know if i should complain. however, right now, all i can say is that it is bothering me and i don't like it.
sometimes, i think the reason why i find myself so flirtatious with guys is not only because i want an ego boost, but because there is a certain resentment that i am being taken for granted and this is some sort of stupid, shallow, half-hearted revenge.
i'm not too sure if i can stay in a relationship like this. do i even want to introduce him to my parents now? a few minutes ago, he mentioned that he had an erection.
i just walked away...
...and he still didn't get the hint.
tomorrow i am meeting up with david. for gym.
no expectations. no hesitations. no regrets.
Monday, 16 July 2007
I went to see my cousin today in the city and I decided to duck into one of the sleeeezy places advertised in www.squirt.org - it's a website where they list all the nasty beats in some popular parts of the world. I have yet to check out entries for the Philippines, but yeah. Anyway, ended up this super old building. It was quite scary since the "happy" place was in the basement - in the lowest part of the stairwell actually - and people can get stabbed and killed and no one would notice for days. Super scary sya.
Anyway, braving that, I pushed this unmarked door and *hello* CR pala sya. Very small sya. Urinal for two tapos may isang toilet. Yun lang. Pero the guys there were pretty interesting. Yun matanda was there for a while pero umalis (hindi mabenta eh). Yung matitirang dalawa cute. Isa medyo in his 40s, pero HOT. Para syang daddy sa mga porn flick. Yung isa naman, mid-20s, medyo redhead/brunette na hindi mo alam. Both were cute, and after ten seconds of eye contact, both had their cocks out. The matanda had a long one pero thin. Si Red naman medyo longer than mine, pero thick. Both uncut (YUM!) and quite delectable.
Red didn't take long though. After two minutes of self-indulgence, he ran to the sink and spread his juices there. Tanda on the other hand was a fighter and refused to let up. He kept on playing with himself and (yes I am bad) I ended up sucking him off until he came. When he was at the brink though, he made it a point that I wasn't to continue sucking him. I guess he didn't know if he was positive or something (or maybe he was positive to begin with), and didn't want to take any chances, which I respect. I have been with a guy who was HIV positive and I have learnt a thing or two.
(fyi: I am negative, and I have been having HIV tests twice a year for good measure. Still ok on that end.)
ANYway, that was an interesting experience. Parang porn flick scene sya, except I consider myself the overweight extra that no one notices masturbating in the background. Still, I loved the excitement of the whole thing and I have to admit I have all intentions of dropping by when I can. I am such a whore.
On a side note, can anyone please forward me the address of this artist's blog... He draws and paints and then he adds stories about his life after each artwork. It's really an awesome awesome blog and my firefox died before I could copy the link and add it to my own bloglist. If anyone knows what I am talking about, I would be eternally grateful for the blogspot address. Thanks in advance.
Friday, 13 July 2007
I did message him that I was going to be in his vicinity this Wednesday and he said he might meet me there. I'm not sure how that will turn out. I'm sure it won't lead to anything, but I will be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to start something.
This is really shitting too close to home. I kinda ask myself why I am doing this, and I only realised this morning that it's probably because I feel Oli is taking me for granted. There are so many things I do for him, and it's starting to get to me, I think. I really don't want to be considered anyone's domestic help - but then again, that is a trap I think I laid for myself. I fear sometimes that my eagerness to please Oli is taking its toll on my ego. Having dips on the side - even the thought that someone might actually find my beached-whale body attractive - is boosting what little self-esteem I have left.
Funny how I try to defend myself as being not shallow and self-obsessed. With this entry, I think I have just debunked my own statements. How typical...
Thursday, 12 July 2007
1 Canadian (aka David)
1 Steam Room
30 minutes of chatting
1 bus stop
Put one Marcus in a steam room. Let it simmer for 3 minutes or so. Take one David, fully undressed and make it walk from the lockers to the showers. Put David in showers for a minute and add shorts. Place David in steam room. Let Marcus apologise about putting eucalyptus and allow David to continue the conversation. Make Marcus subtly look at David's awful hair (conditioner, hijo, conditioner!!!) but gorgeous body. Let them talk for 30 minutes or so. Take Marcus out of the steam room before it melts. Remember that Marcus is no longer in his 20's so be very careful with him. Place Marcus in the shower and let him cool off. Then, dry off Marcus and move him to the lockers. After 2 minutes, do the same with David. Let Marcus dry off his hair and put on his shirt. Afterwards, move David into the lockers.
Now Marcus can dry off his legs and put on some undies. At this point, you will notice that David will be looking at Marcus' legs while he dries them and stares at his butt. Let Marcus put on his shoes before the supermarket closes. After buying the necessary things, let Marcus walk back home. At this point, David should be dressed and calling someone on the phone while waiting for his bus. Once Marcus is within talking distance, let him initiate conversation about meeting him again. David will then ask for Marcus' number while Marcus is playfully pushing him towards the bus which has just arrived.
By the time Marcus gets home, he would have received an SMS from David, stating that in case Marcus is ever near his regular gym, he should call David up.
Now, if Marcus doesn't call, then your dish would have been ok. If he calls or texts, then his goose is cooked.
In fairness, I didn't REALLY flirt that much with the guy, and I wasn't too obvious in perving. I think he was more lonely for any kind of good company more than a fuck. I honestly think he isn't gay - but rather sad and homesick. I know how it is to be in a foreign land with people making fun of your accent, so yeah. I will sms him soon because my doctor is close to his suburb.
Vahala na si Vhatman!
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
There are gym instructors and there are gym instructors. The first type is the one that looks great and is very professional. They train you hard, you sweat, you groan, they smile but at the end of the day, you look better for it. They are quite friendly and once in a while, you spot them a beer at the local pub - low cal, low carb beer, of course.
The second type is the one you want to smother in butter and honey. They are like the first in most aspects, but they also have that look in their eyes that wants you to go horizontal with them, and not just in terms of push-ups.
The first type you see all over the place. I have only encountered a handful of the second type, though. Here is
(aside: I know that, at times, I make
ANYway, as I said, I have had none here. In the Philippines, I have had several. Let's face it: Slimmers' World (in the good old days, at least) was the in place to pick up and SOME of the gym instructors were just as horny as any peach-blooded man in shorts.
I don't remember the name of the first gym instructor I "met" - I think his name was Allan and he was from SWI Megamall. He was built like a tank with a little bit of fat on all sides. He would go into the sauna wearing nothing but a small towel which barely hid his wares. He wasn't particularly well hung, but he had a nice foreskin - quite rare in the Philippines. He dropped by my place twice and he just lay there and let me do my thing. After a while, I got over it. I never paid for his services but one time, I saw him in the sauna and as I was drying off in the main area, I saw a very effeminate client walk out of the sauna, open his locker, take out some money, and walked back into the sauna.
It doesn't take a genius, folks...
Anyway, before you all rush off to Mega to scope the goods, I heard that he was fired because of sexual harassment. Apparently, he did something funny while measuring the stats of a female client. Yes, ladies and gentlemein, he is - in the words of McVie - a BiBot.
The second one is actually Bong, a good friend of mine still and he was crazy enough to play around inside the men's locker area when I was last in Slimmers. His dick is nice and Jesus he can top like there is no tomorrow. Because I have gotten used to Oli, his dick now seemed small, but at the time I swear it was trying to crack me sideways. We first started playing around when there was still a Slimmers' World in Robinsons' Galleria. The sauna was designed in such a way that you can stay inside and see if there was someone coming in. So it was perfect for playing around. That sauna had seen so many interesting moments between me and Bong. Admittedly I feel weird because I know Bong's wife, but still I have to admit, I miss Bong's crazy moments. He has a smile that just. won't. quit.The third is Nav. Nav is very VERY cute. He has a baby face and his body is not that bad, to be honest. I had a huge crush on him when he first came to Slimmers and I never thought he would bite. One night, it was raining like hell and he was stuck in the gym. The lights were turned off and he was just standing outside the building, looking like a pauper. Siyempre naawa naman ako. I proposed that we (my AFAM friend Johnny, Nav and I) have a late night snack and then everyone can sleep over at my place. Surprisingly, he accepted!
So to cut a long story short, he became the object of lust of both myself and Johnny. Nav came in less than 5 minutes (trust me - if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't have lasted long either). Strangely enough, he was very particular about his participation. He would not suck or kiss but is willing to be played upon - much like Allan. I guess it's a trait of "macho" guys who are willing to play around.
When I saw Nav last, we had a quickie in the gym's locker room, but yeah, he had not changed. He came in my mouth but he didn't want to reciprocate in any way, shape or form. I wouldn't mind having another go at the guy, but I think he is definitely not a keeper. Just something on the side - like atchara. Pretty to look at, but you wouldn't really crave for it.
All in all, I would say Allan had the nicest cock. Pretty thick and the foreskin is a nice touch. Nav is definitely the cutest and has an ok dick, but Bong wins in the overall category. He is passionate, he knows how to keep it low, and he can REALLY participate.
That's all. No more reminiscing today. :-)
Sunday, 8 July 2007
In some ways I guess I can be considered lucky that (a) some of my Father's dark features carried on to me - to offset the feminine Chinese features my mom has, (b) I am tall enough for "their standards", and (c) I have enough muscles to warrant a second glance (but perhaps not a third). Embarrassingly, I still suck my gut in the change rooms, while all these Greek gods take off their clothes in a manner that I would refer to as very Kylie Minogue.
When I see all these guys, I can't help but remember Sandro, my bodybuilding fling that lasted BARELY a month. He was a prawn - GREAT bod, but ewww face. He was also too fixated on my friend, Kiko (see previous entry), and being the proud puta that I am, I refuse to play second fiddle. Syempre naman I have to take pride in myself. I refuse to be a welcome mat for people to trod on. Kahit papaano, I have to preserve my ego, as shallow as that is.
We first met in the gym, and we kept on bumping into each other and saying hi. I never got the hint that he was gay, but I definitely oggled when I could. In retrospect, maybe he noticed and was open to the idea. He was giving me hints perhaps that I was too naive or fearful to notice.
Anyway, nothing happened until one night, we bumped into each other in Megamall. Actually, to be more accurate, the Megamall movie house.
(Before you say anything, let me just bring it out into the open: Yes, I do that moviehouse gig too.)
We exchanged pleasantries and he invited me to sit with their group. Thirty minutes into the movie, he held my hand in the dark and we looked into each other. I knew he was up for it by that time (HELLO! Hindi naman ako engot, no?!) and so after the movie, I offered to take him home.
Of course, home turned out to the Kiko's granny flat which kind of unnerved me a bit. Kiko and I were still enjoying our occasional trysts then. However, most of that happened at my flat, so seeing Kiko's house from the inside made the experience a bit surreal.
ANYway, I ended up staying most of the night, and yes, we had passionate sex. The problem was we were both bottoms (I have had obviously much less experience) but I just have to say bottoming a muscle mary is interesting. You feel all meat inside, in contrast to the softness one normally feels. We both tried topping each other, with disastrous results.
In the pillow talk that ensued, I discovered his beginnings - his hard youth, his decision to take up body building, the steroids that came with the territory - and inside my head, an alarm rang out. I felt that I was being set up to be a sugar daddy, and I didn't find the idea comforting.
So I distanced myself after that. I mean, sex is sex, yeah, but there are limits to how much I want to whore myself. He didn't take too well to that. He sent me a nasty SMS a few weeks after, stating how pointless it was to date someone like me - which I admit I deserve. I'm sure he means well, and it was just the snobby elitist in me guiding my loins.
I still see him around the web though. He joins all these strange contests and wins some of them as well. Last I checked, he was second-runner up for Mr. Cavite - not too sure of the year. Maybe 2004 or 2005. Apparently he joins other less "prestigious" contests - in short, contests where the hosts wear singlets and fit-to-male dresses. Not that there is anything wrong with that - I mean, if that is what you want to do with your life or earn money, then that is your God-given right. As far as I can tell, he is not making life difficult for anyone so really, I'm happy for the guy.
It's just that I am looking for other characteristics in a life partner. I hope that he is ok and he has found someone who can be good to him. He was telling me about someone from Canadia who was willing to sponsor him, and to him, I say why not. I'm sure Canadia offers more than what the Philippines can give him.
I just have to say though that he has an ass that just won't quit - "buns so tight they were bouncing off the wall" - quote from Patsy Stone. And FUCK, he looked hot in undies and without them.
Saturday, 7 July 2007
One of my earlier acquisitions was a black butt plug. It was 5-inches long, slightly fat in the base but tapers slowly to the top (as with almost all butt plugs). The problem was the base was VERY soft and could easily fold into itself. Now the problem with that is the anal muscles can sometimes be so strong that it can suck in the butt plug and you will find yourself filled in ways you normally would not want to.
This happened to me once and Oli was in such a panic! For one, medyo mahal ang hospital dito. Second, medyo nakakahiya kaya, no!? Anyway, he kinda stammered his apologies while I fished it out quite calmly. Parang pro, pero sa totoo lang, super kabado ako. Syempre hindi pinahalata (tangina. Ms. Universe R-UE talaga).
This time, habang nasa Europe siya, I treated myself to The Colt Triplets and Mr. Blue. The Colt triplets are three butt plugs, appropriately labeled small, medium and HELLO. So far, I have been able to take the medium, pero the large might be a bit too adventurous for me. However, there is Mr. Blue who is very blue and VERY big. That one, I can say, is as big as Danny, but obviously not as flexible and definitely unforgiving.
Let's face it. When you are topped by a guy, he might start out rock hard, but he slightly digresses into a slightly less-rigid state. He is still hard, yes, but not as brutal. When you are invaded by a toy, the toy stays rock hard and yes, you just have to grip the sheets and bear it.
Anyway Mr. Blue and I have only had 3 sessions so far, and only one was anywhere near successful. However, I do have plans of pleasuring myself with Mr. Blue soon and I will keep you posted.
As I said to CC, practice lang yan, pare.
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
Oli is coming back tomorrow morning and I am excited. It also means no more hanky panky stuff, but that's fine. I can live with that (for the next 2 days anyway). I just miss his company so much. I think that accounts for my crush on Alex (and of course it could also be the instant I saw parts of his member in the flesh).
So far, life has been so boring without Oli, and I can't wait to have him in my arms (and around my legs) again. Yeah, he is not a Danny but Danny ain't an Oli - and Oli weighs more in so many wonderful ways.
Monday, 2 July 2007
Did make up again and yes, I swear this is the last. Super tiring ang journey to the set and it's really not worth my time. So yeah. Last na ito...
Anyway, I saw Alex again, and I have to say I think I've figured him out. He is one of those people who are comfortable showing off their bodies. He asked me to hide his hip bruises from the harness yesterday (para siyang linatigo) and yes he stripped to his jocks again. I asked him to wear his lower costume but he replied that he couldn't be bothered looking for it. So yun. Ganda. I added make up to his hip and lo and behold, he was wearing Y-briefs and parts of his ANO were seen.
But of course, I didn't make pahalata. As with any Ms. Universe Runner-Up Ever, poised ako. However, all good things had to come to an end, and yes, I am giving up the fight. As nice a cock as he may have and as cute and adorable as he is, he is not an Oli and I'd rather have a shred of Oli than a piece of meat.
Yun lang. *bow*exit stage left*
Sunday, 1 July 2007
However, just as I entered the set, I realised the were planning the harness scene today and yes, I saw my crush, Alex, on a harness - wearing only his undies. For some stupid reason, they didn't want to practice with the costumes (HELLO!) so he stripped to his briefs and was swinging away. Like most harnesses, it supports you in your jock area so yes, I saw most of what he had to offer. Low hanging and definitely big balls.
Hmmmm. Maybe I will not complain just yet.
This morning, dropped by the set and took pictures of Alex. He was so surprised to see me. He jumped out of the carpet and excitedly asked if his make up was ok. He was sooooo cute. Kagigil siya! I was half tempted to drag him out of the set, but the director was really pissed at other things at this point, so I decided not to push my luck. I just stayed back and watched the sword fight.
At one point, he had to jump up, and because Aladin costume siya, kitang kita ang kanyang ano. Shet. I had to leave after taking two pics. Baka tigasan ako. Kakahiya.
Yes, he is the one on the left with very clear pubic hair sticking out. Also, his body looks mighty small here. It's much more defined in real life. And yes, bakat na bakat sya. And it looks mighty meaty.
After that, I went to the sauna and I have to say that it was an interesting experience.
First was David. Medyo chubby (not that there is anything wrong with that) but ganda ng ari. Super haba the foreskin - nakaka-aliw. After 5 minutes of making out, he wanted me to stay the night with him. Ako naman: Hello. I'm not THAT good. Pero syempre demure ako so hihihi na lang.
Second was Brian who is (believe it or not) a drag queen (albeit a young one). Obviously he wasn't in his outift, but I was just so curious as I have never made out with a Greek drag queen before. SO that was an experience and sadly, not worth mentioning more.
There were several others, but nothing worth blogging about. Seriously I was depressed at the choices. Yuck. However, as I was about to throw in the towel (yes, the one wrapped around my waist), Danny came along.
Danny is a banker by profession - single, cute, kinda short though (5'8"), great conversationalist, and quite possibly the thickest cock I've ever had in my life. At one point I was really scared (hindi naman ako power bottom, no?!) but, as any Ms. Universe Runner-Up Ever would do, kinaya. To make things worse, he really took his time to fuck my brains out, so by the time I looked at my watch, I had taken an hour of pounding from that horrid piece of meat (and I loved every minute of it). He was very passionate and very romantic (kisses and such) and I have to admit: that was the best fucking pounding I have ever had in my entire life. Not even Oli can match him in that respect.
Kinda scary actually. If Oli knew what he was missing out on, I'm sure he would dump me. Heck, if Oli knew what I was doing behind his back, yeah, he would dump me for sure. I have to say though... Danny managed to make me feel special when he fucks me. I'm not sure Oli ever did that to me. I think that is what I will miss, more than the monster cock.