Thursday, 6 August 2015

So Edward... (part two)

This is really a continuation of the previous story, kazi that afternoon was... amazing in its own way.

After the last guy, I went back to the other cubicle and waited. It was a good romp, but bagets really did nothing for me. Gusto kong sabihin: "Yun lang?" but let's be gracious, ladies.

I closed the door and cleaned myself. Buti na lang I have 1 billion wet wipes. I took out my iPad and played movies from the net while waiting. I have one million gig of data naman from Vodafone so I could afford (when it worked, that is) to watch watchayvur.

After 20 minutes or so, I heard the door open and close, and the cubicle door in front of me locked into place. At this point, I wasn't too sure kung puliz (and yes, that has happened in the past) or fafa. Buti na lang, in this case, fafa!

He was around mid-50's, and he had a bit of a pouch on him - given the firmness, it's definitely a beer belly. But he was dressed really well, 6 foot tall so his weight wasn't obvious naman. He had a full blown beard, and from his neckline, he was obviously balbon. He obviously goes to the gym but doesn't engage in full-on lifting.

Pero jhurls: Ang fez value: Winnar! Super guwapo - very kind eyes and his smile was enough to make me drop / wet my pants.

But I digress.

ANYway, I made a show of standing up and tilting my body, para naman kita the Melanie Marquez long leggedness. Buti naman he was game too! In a few seconds, he rushed into my cubicle, hands on my cheeks! 

Avaugh! Demanding ang fough-tah!

As he undid his belt, I knelt and waited for the milagro - and grow it did. It was nice 6 incher, makapal pero kaya sa laban naman. Sadly, it was cut, but hey, hindi naman ako bigot - love for all shapes and sizes, sabi ng Ms Universe contestant... 


Anyway, I began sucking him off, and he made sabunot the hair. Buti na lang buhok rejoice, or else! He was a bit on the rough side, but hey, I could take it naman so I just went with the flow. Slowly but surely, his penoy became rock hard and I did not complain.

I looked up at this point, and saw that he had unbuttoned his business shirt - my gulay! Burt Reynolds ang chest niya! Eyelurvit!

I angled myself so that I can play with his chest and nipples, and continue with my oral delivery. He opened his mouth and moaned lowly. Shet. Turn on! I began pumping even faster and he rolled his eyes back.

At this point, I was ready to rock and roll. I took out the condom and put it on his throbbing member. He was a little bit surprised about this, but he seemed good to go.

I leaned forward and after lubing up, he slowly put it inside me. He was significantly bigger than the last guy, so it was a little bit painful but after a while, I got used to it naman.

He grabbed me by the hips and began pumping me - hard. As in, nauntog akish! Graveh!!! I am used to rougher guys but he was just... rough. He did it really fast, as though he was trying to drill for my tonsils. I had to grip the walls so that I don't fall over. Several times, he slapped my ass so hard, it felt closer to a punch.

After a few minutes, I had to stand up a bit and say "Hold on - wait." And he did slow down to a crawl and then I noticed his rock hard cock quickly limp into softness. It was so weird. I think he needs to give it rough to stay hard, and to be honest, thanks but no thanks.

I stood up and said "I had to go" and he unfurled the supot covered by tissue. I got it from him and noticed that there was white stuff in it.

I looked at him, puzzled really.

He shrugged and said "I came maybe a minute or so before you told me to stop... I just figured you were having too much fun."

I stared at him, shocked that he didn't miss his cadence in the act. 

Of course, I asked for his number.

Monday, 27 July 2015

So Edward.... the (unnecessary and unwanted) drama continues...

For an entire month, may I avoid ako. No Edward...  no sleepovers... the occasional text and FB message... but I tried to Maria Clara the Lady Gaga. It was hard... pero as Gloria Gaynor once sang, I will survive...d.


Still, I knew I couldn't avoid him for ay-vur. So yes, he came over last Tuesday... and as always, I was in my best Betty Draper outfit. Dinner was lamb with roasted veggies... perfect winter chuvah.

With stilettos and Paloma red lipstick on, I opened the door and there he was. Mr Guwapo with two bottles of red wine. It seemed like a dream come true... kulang na lang fog machine with matching falling rose petals from the heavens.

We had dinner. Light chit-chat. He tried to steer it to heavier topics...

"Well, I have not seen you in a month. Have you been avoiding me?"

... but I decided to keep it light.

"Hija, try the Broooossel sprouts. They're diviiiiiiine."

We ended up watching a rom-com, but I wasn't paying much attention, to be honest. I was cuddling in the sofa, my hand on his belly button, and he was giving me a shoulder rub. Almost picture perfect.

We finished the film and we ended up continuing the "romanz" in bed. During the course of the chuvah, I asked what he was doing while we had not seen each other.

"Me? Oh, I was around... I may have started seeing someone."

Natuliro ako with matching Beyonce whiplash. Haaaanough?

"Yeah, she seems cool."

She? And here we are, cuddling in bed. SHE?!?!?!

So he spent the next few minutes describing how they met, at ako naman in full Oprah realness. Deep down inside, LETCHEH.

After a while, he dozed off and I just slept beside him, listening to him snoring.

The next day, he went off and I spent the day in a bit of haze... as in, I couldn't tell my left from my right. Naloughkah akough. My boss actually asked me to go home kasi I was clearly wiss na wiss!

And truly, I was soooo off. I knew our... whatever our relationship was called... wasn't working but this one was truly... Shetabelles to the enth of ever.

My default reaction: change into gym shorts and workout to death! After two hours of running, skipping rope, weights etchet, etchet... wah pa rin. I was still in a daze and I knew only one thing can help me now.

Wearing my jockstrap underneath my gym clothes, may I punta akish to a local beat. It was usually busy closer to dusk, but winter tends to drive people indoors. Still, it was around mid-afternoon, so I was hoping that someone was there for the happiness.

Bingaycious! May papa.

He was around 5'7", blonde and blue-eyed, very twinkish. He was cherubic, which sadly is not usually my type. I assumed he was in his early 20's pero it was medyo dark so I could not tell for sure. He was in the cubicle, and pretending to pee, except his stance was slightly angled towards the hallway so that he could tell if people were looking at him.

Aaaaaand I was definitely looking.

In fact, I was not even pretending to do chuvah, other than chupah! I faced him, dragged by shorts to my knees so that he can see I'm only wearing a jockstrap and a hard-on!

He turned around, medyo awkwardly, as though he was not too sure what to do with his penoi. 

And there it was - fairly thick around the head, especially given how short it was (around 3 inches). I walked roughly - SASHAY, jhurlz! - and on my knees agad!

I have to admit, it was a strangely shaped notah. The foreskin was very thin and tight, and almost covered the entire head which was noticeably bigger than the shaft. The head itself was red, as though the head was struggling to let loose from the sheath.

The guy himself was shy, parang ayaw nyang ipakita! Buti na lang Ms Congeniality akish! I began going down on him, and after gagging a little bit from the scent of baby powder (ZSAMAVAYAN?!), I began full steam ahead. It was a little bit slippery - more than normal - because somehow I could not get the right fit in my mouth. Parang it was harder to adjust.

After a few minutes, I pushed him to the toilet and I got a condom out. At first he seemed medjas chakot but I convinced him it's ok. He reluctantly pulled down his hipster jeans (medyo nahirapan kami), thrust his hips out so that I can put on the supot on his supot. 

As soon as the penoy was covered, game! I lubed my butt and sat on his member. It was initially hard getting it in, but it slid in eventually (Talagang Miss Talent!!!!) and I began bopping up and down.

So totoo lang, it was weird facing this guy. For one, his face alternated between "holy shit, this feels good" to "OMG I'm going to die" and back again. I wanted a bit more out of it, so I motioned him to suck on my nipples. At first, he used his tongue but after a while he began biting. Tama bang ginawang mansions ang aking voovs???

After a minute, he half-yelled SHIT and gasped for air. At that point, I knew he was spent.

Using some toilet paper, I grabbed the condom as I stood up (seamless, jhurl!) and prepped to go back to the other cubicle. He whispered "Thanks..." but I had a turn around when he followed it up with "Can I get your number?"

I just winked then closed the door.

(To be continued)

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Post Heaven Highs and Lows

This is a very strange entry. I feel... sad. bad. naughty. evil.

Ewan ko nga ba.

This song fits my mood, so I'm putting a link here.

Edward came over again. We watched Jurassic World muna, then home to drink beer, played Twister (horridly - kasi naman in Bryce Dallas Howard heels!!!), and well, we played around. When I said played around, I meant we cuddled in bed as always while he was in his rocket ship PJs (no joke!) and I was in my Victoria's Secret lingerie (possibly a joke).

ANYway, as always, we had a few drinks and he became more ... affectionate? He kissed me on the forehead (FOREHEAD LANG?!? TAMA BA YAN?!?!) and said he loved spending time with me.
Did he say he loved me? Moochang hindeh.

I assumed this moment of "love" was because of the drink... but this time, we definitely went overboard... as in, by 2:30AM, he and I were... well, close to passing out. Still hindi ko alam why I can drink him under the table... maybe it's because I'm always hayouk (GANOUN!) despite my demure Maria Clara facade (talahgang!).

So. Fast forward to 3 AM. He was senglot to the ever. I was hayoque in need to dilig.

So ayun. Stupid hat on. Tangal his PJs and down, I went. At first, it was thin and small, around 3 inches. Pero within a minute of working it, it definitely grew... and oh, my. His penoy was beautimous. Kapal the foreskin, and while the head was small, the base was super thick, and it was around 7 inches and it was only hard-ish at this point. Because he trimmed his pubes, maganda the effect. Truly gorgeous.

Throughout the entire experience, he was out for the count, and my better judgement flew out the window. I stopped sucking his cock, and lubed my middle finger with my mouth. As soon as I thought it was wet enough, I spread his legs and continued sucking him off while my middle finger slowly went down his hole.

It went in smooth and easy.

As I continued going down on him, I kept looking up at him, expecting him to wake up. Still, he kept on lightly snoring, and somehow I thought it was a sign. (wtf???)

As my finger did the deed, I noticed that his hardness went down a bit, and so I stopped. As soon as my finger slid out, a sober voice popped in my head: “This isn’t right.”

And it wasn’t.

I stopped sucking him off, and pulled up his PJs. In a few seconds, he actually stirred, and grabbed his softening dick. He looked at me briefly with a confused, angry look but went back to sleep almost immediately.

I slept beside him, but no sooner did I close my eyes, when my alarm rang. 6:30AM na? Ha? I got up, prepped breakfast and by the time coffee arrived, Edward slumbered out of the bedroom. He smiled weakly: “Good morning” and sat down.

I won’t bore you with the details, but in summary, I don’t think he was aware of what happened. This was a couple of days ago, and we haven’t SMSed since. He sent me an email, pero I sent back a short and polite reply. No FB messages yet, and I think it’s best this way.

Please don’t rip me to shreds for this. I already feel awful. My better judgement passed out with the amount of alcohol and that just isn’t cool.

Ito na ang kumpisal ko. 

Edward, exit left. For both our sakes.

Thursday, 18 June 2015


So. Edward stayed overnight. Again.

The entire day, we were talking about classic porn we watched as kids. My favourite was The Devil in Miss Jones while his was Deep Throat (Please don't judge - walang Sean Cody in the 80's... ESTE, early 90's pala)(cough).

(Side note: does anyone remember the fashion catalogue International Male? Oh, the memories!!!)

Of course, you can only imagine what the conversation was like - Thank goodness FB does not censor PMs.

We had dinner (as part of the Ms Talent portion, I cooked a four course meal in matching Betty Draper outfit). We had wine, three bottles in total (talajang all out, ghurls!) and we ended up cuddling in bed.

Now at this point, you'd think na we'd be at it like bunnies.


We cuddled but that's it. He placed his hand na on the lower part of my back and I had my hand on his tummy (omg, talagang super hard at halos zero fat - Core strength galore!). I was wide awake and heart thumping, so obviously ready na akish for the grand finale.

To start, I was massaging his knees and as the human body is limited in its angles, my elbow ended up on his junior. Sigh. From my expert opinion, it was clear that he was not finding the cuddling experience... arousing.

After a few minutes, I looked up pero he was out for the count.

 I kissed him on the lips and went to sleep.

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Eurovision Weekend

Edward: The Saga/Drama Continues

So Edward decided to drop by for Eurovision - normally, I would have a couple of friends watch the show with me, especially now that Australia joined for the first (and last) time. However, I wanted some quiet time with Edward, so my friends watched elsewhere while I readied myself for a Saturday night cuddle.

He liked the first few acts, but he wanted to watch AFL instead. Cha-ineez! Pinagbigyan ko ang low-kah, but with the rule na he has to wake up with me for the 5AM live show. He said yes, so sige. So we watched GayFL and it was... nice. There was a lot of beer involved, and we had a game with tequila shots - by 11PM, we were ready to hit the sack.

We cuddled in bed - and dahil malamig, HE WORE JEANS TO BED. Gusto ko siyang sigawan: baka magmancha!!! Pero buti na lang hinjie.

I think the frustration comes from the fact na I can see what he has to offer but no go, talaga. As a joke, I cupped his balls, and he didn't stop me from playing with them, so yun! I got to play with his yagballs through the jeans.

But when I ventured upwards, ayan! He stiffened up (in the wrong way) and stood up. I stopped, coughed a bit, aaaaand things just became awkward.

Part of me thinks he wanted to cuddle and be romantic and all of that shit, but he doesn't want the sex.


We both ended up in bed, with my hand on his shallow bellybutton, and when I woke up the next day, he was already rugged up in the sofa, waiting for me to join him in Eurovision watching.

Sunday morning passed, he left after breakfast, and before I knew it, BOOM. Monday.

I tried to shake off the entire weekend, pero I just couldn't. I ended up going to a beat and getting it on with this strawberry blonde guy who was... well, not so nice to look at, but he had a stiff dick that was raring for action. He was around 5'11, and around early 30's. His body had zero muscles with all the baby fat in the wrong places. In all honesty, it really was cringe-worthy.

BUT on the good side, he had LOVELY pubes, and his cut cock was around 6 inches with a decent girth. GAME ON, JHURLS!

He plowed me in the cubicles and I just had to pretend that Edward was doing me. The awesome part about this was that he was showering me with compliments about how handsome I was and how he was so turned on about me.


I think what made it more painful was that strawberry blonde was asking for my name and number para Part 2, but I was like, sorry darling. One off lang.

*Sigh* Until next time...

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Autumn Bluez

I got two anon replies in the last post, pero one disappeared. However, I have decided to reply to it anyway... After all, I need practice for my Question and Answer portion sa Mizz Univerze.

"Is it safe to swallow? Bareback?"

Hellerrr. The answer is always no. FYI: You can get seroconverted via BJs (implausible, but possible) as well as hadashi, so in all honestly, mas Winona pag may chondom. However, medyo rebelde ang lolah niyo. Am I being stupid? Yes.

Autumn is always a strange time in Sydney. Sun is out and about... but the beats are strangely erratic. I dropped by the usual places at the usual times, and well, it's been quiet to say the least. Hindi mabenta ang aking Pata Tim! Atchuweteh ang lolah niyo!

Anyway, I was sent to Tasmania for work, and sadly, no ackshown... In fairness, super cold mga badich, so not surprised that people are just using Grindr and waiting for the graces to fall on their laps. I nearly had hookups there, pero at the end of the day, I just ended up with Mariong Palad - not that I mind. Besides, my horrendously heavy laptop is filled with enough legally downloaded porn to host a virtual library!

When I got back, I started the dating scene again. I don't know why. I started my dating with an easy one - a 6'2 Chinese guy, cute. Super bata, as in early 20's, pero he was into older guys daw so sige, despite the 6-year gap (TALAGANG ILUSYONADA! Kalowkerz!), I decided why not, chocnut?

Well, that fizzled really, really fast. Ang kerning gintong ari, medyo short pero my gulay super thick - parang beer can! So medyo weird ang feeling. I think to make it worse, he wanted me to take charge of everything in the relationship, and the power dynamic is... well, I just didn't like it. I prefer to be with an equal as opposed to someone I need to take care of. Maybe it's just lack of chemistry. Maybe I just don't like teaching a kid how to have sekz. Ewan ko nga ba.

And then there is Edward. Now Edward is... cute. Super gym body, surfer, professed bi-sexual pero he is not into sex daw, at least not just yet. He's very romantic in texts and messages, pero once we sit down and talk - parang wala siyang feelings. I think naman he's honest pero there's something about him that is stopping him from actually diving into the world that is Badinggerzie (GAH-KNOWN!).

Last night, he slept over pero he made it clear: No sex. Kainizzzz! Ako naman, sige. So we cuddled in bed and watched movies on my laptop na que-bigat! We ended up talking about shaving down there, and I went as far as me feeling the base of his peon. So yes, I actually saw it. Makapal ang foreskin niya, and it looks formidable! Around 3 inches pero super not hard, so my expert opinion, maybe 7 inches kapag galit! Wait and see... to be honest, I don't think he will ever join the rainbow parade. Testing the waters siya, and despite my best efforts, wis na wis.

His last words before falling asleep: "I love you, man."

MAN??? Juhrl ako noh?!


Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Keeping it cool

I can't believe that my last entry was June 2014! Nakuhledezmah!

There is no one reason for this, to be honest. Work has been hectic. Promotion. Left job. Rehired. More work. I don't do client visits as much na, but that will change within the next few months... again.

On the relationship side, still shin-gal. Kalowkah. Had several potentials, pero most ended before things could become more interesting. Am I ok about it? I ... don't know, to be honest. I will make knew next time when my spirit is a bit more willing. Sometimes, I feel weird writing stuff here. Part confessional box, part catharsis, part catheter (hehehe).

As some of you would already know, I love tradies. For those outside Oz, tradies are basically tradesmen, like electricians, plumbers, carpenters, etc. etc. I like them a bit rough around the edges eh.

I went to one of my fave haunts, and I can tell that things were already happening. As soon as I entered, the three cubicle doors in the far end suddenly closed.

Well, well, well...

Anyway, I walked to the cubicle that wasn't occupied and pretend to number 1. Avatch! Within 30 seconds, the guy on the other side popped his head out and opened his door.

This guy was around mid-30's, cute-abelles, 5'7", puti, and looked quite stocky, especially given his short frame. He was an air-con technician, which I could tell kasi he was wearing his company shirt. He also had his work pants plus steel-tipped shoes, so alam na alam mong he's the real deal.

Anyway, I opened my door wider, and he did the same. As far as I am concerned, that's an invite so may I run ako... And I have to say...

I was a bit disappointed. His penoy was cut (sayang), around 4 in and SUPER thin... as in, pencil thin. As in, parang Mongol pencil thin.

On the good side, gwapo lang locha! Light brown hair with matching valvasarado... As in, yaminess! At this point, libog-abelles na akish, so siyempre game!

I went down on my knees and sharpened his hard mongol pencil. Of course, it was super easy - no gag reflex and with matching Walk like an Egyptian (points to those who can get the reference)!

The good about this guy was that he was really into it. After a minute, he took off his shirt and started tweaking his nipples. Ako naman, sure, I can help! Alam mo naman tayong mga Filipina jurls, multitalented and very hospitable! As I was pounding my head, my hands were all over him, nipolz, yagballs, etc. etc.

Anyway, after a couple of minutes, he pushed me to my feet and pounded his face on my penoi. I have to say though: Hindi sya magaling. Kahit runner-up for Ms Talent, hindeh. I didn't know how bad bad could be but that. was. bad.

At that point, I lost my patience. I pushed him up, placed a supot on his peon, and sat on it. Obviously, super easy for me and within seconds, I was pounding on him as he sat on the throne. At this point, he and I were making so much noise that the two other guys we looking over the partitions and clearly enjoying themselves in the process.

Shortie then carefully stood up, pushing me forward while still inside me. It was massively awkward kasi pandakacious siya, pero sige, fight lang tayo! I had to crouch down a bit more, increasing the pressure on my legs. Buti na lang sanay sa stilettos kaya calf muscles of Tyra ang laban!

Within a few minutes of rapid pounding, he began to moan and boom. He had done the deed and spread the seed. Ako? I was still crosswording on my iPhone.


I pulled the filled supot from his still rock hard member, and wrapped it in toilet paper. I fixed myself as our audience members slowly tucked away back into their cubicles. I opened the door, belt unbuckled and supot in hand. As I was washing my hands and fixing myself, I was thinking to myself: Tangina, ang guwapo niya talaga...

I really did want to do the crossword instead though.